We're so pleased to see the trend toward re-release of classics on DVD is continuing. Those responsible are entitled to a ceremonial bonking with the imperial scepter (that's bonking, not boinking). FOX Studio, led by the inimitable John Coletti, filmed a number of memorable silent short films in the late-70s and early-80s, and this collection includes one of the very best of these, featuring FOX's trademark performer -- and the Emperor's all-time favorite -- Tom LeDuc. Each scene is completely separate, but unlike in other FOX collections, does not include the brief opening and closing credits seen in the original film versions. So it's impossible to ascribe specific dates to individual vignettes.
Scene one is an "opposites attract" kind of thing. Todd Martin is not the tall dark tennis player (although we'd like to see him, too), but a beautiful, smooth (and still tall) blond youth with a very sizeable prick. If you like twink athletes, you'll love dear sweet Todd. He's whacking off by the hot tub and either fantasizing or remembering an encounter with short, hunky brunet Teddy Brickle, who wanders up, drops his towel, and digs right in. Teddy is very muscular, and even has some black hair on his chest (although he's very young like Todd). At first it seems that Todd is typical early-80s straight trade, but no! After a long blowjob from Teddy, Todd takes a turn, and exchanges some sensuous kisses along the way. His encounter with Teddy is intercut with his pud-pulling reverie, which is unusually energetic and convincing as solos go. After nice loads in both the fantasy and the solo, Todd and Teddy continue making out, then retreat into the house.
Meanwhile, somewhere else in pornland, a huge, dark bodybuilder named Dave Lash is just waking up. He has a big bottle of lotion by his bed, so we bet we know what's coming. Yep -- he's just gotta get rid of that morning hardon. Dave has kinda big helmet hair, as you would expect from the time period, but it looks good on him, especially with his smoldering dark eyes and enormous muscles. David looks like a COLT model, and he really shows off for the viewers, whacking his meat and even pumping into the bed sheets so we can see his bubble-butt flex. And did we mention he has a big dick? It looks big even on his large body, so it's probably actually enormous. And nice balls to boot. We get to see Dave beat his meat in several positions before he shoots a spectacular load.
Rick Donovan is pulling on his kielbasa dick in a bright blue room. This seems to be a day for sexual reveries, as he recalls (or fantasizes -- who knows?) about an encounter with beefy early-80s standby Michael Christopher -- on a workout bench, of course. Moving from the weights, Michael gives Rick an oral workout and tries valiantly to coax an erection from Rick's notoriously soft dick. He finally gives up and shoots a nice load on Rick's tummy, and back in the blue room, a closed-eye Rick shoots his own load. Rick is still pretty young and cute in this old film, and even just partially hard, his dick is a marvel.
But we've saved the best for last, dear subjects. We fondly remember this final scene from the initial video release in the mid-80s. At that time it was almost impossible to find bodybuilders like Tom LeDuc in hardcore action -- and Jimmy Metz is no piker in the muscles department himself. It was quite a thrill to see them at the time, and even though the muscle quotient in porn has increased a great deal, they've stood the test of time quite well, indeed. They're paired with massive-dicked, hairy Glenn Steers, an über-top who's the perfect guy to tame these two young colts. As our story opens, Tom is having a little workout with the punching bag outside, observed by nearby roofer Jimmy. When he takes a break and pulls off his boxing trunks, his beautiful, round, white muscle ass immediately is the focus of attention, luring Glenn from his spot indoors and Jimmy from his rooftop perch. If you don't know Tom, he has that college athlete-fratboy look -- tiny button nose, light brown hair, cute grin and nice lips that look great as he slurps up Glenn's massive pole. Glenn is VERY interested in Tom's big muscles, and is constantly running his hands over him; a nice touch -- we've always wondered how these actors could possibly resist feeling each other's bodies. We suppose they're just jaded.
But by now Jimmy has joined the party, and Glenn enthusiastically blows him. Before you know it, Tom is lying back in the sun with his legs in the air while Jimmy pounds into his ass and he sucks on Glenn's supercock. Then Glenn takes his turn; Tom initially seems to have some problems handling his size, but like the trooper he is, he's up to the job, massive thighs held high by Glenn for deeper penetration. After all three shoot loads, Jimmy and Glenn step aside for some one-on-one while Tom watches. After some mutual oral, Glenn fucks Jimmy -- a rare on-screen bottoming for Mr. Metz. Jimmy, too, seems to have some trouble with Glenn's big one -- not that we can blame him. The realism makes it all the more erotic. They both come after Jimmy takes it standing and missionary. Then it's time for more fun with Tom, whose small, uncut dick is rock-hard again. Jimmy fucks him missionary, and then Tom sits on Glenn's cock until he has a violent orgasm that makes his whole body shudder and shake.
Whew! The title, "Hard to Come By" -- it really says it all. You'll be hard, you'll come -- just like these guys. We recall thinking when we saw it in the 80s that, yes, indeed, guys like these were hard to come by. Muscles are much more common today. But these guys are classics.
Originally produced on 16mm film, the picture quality is variable. Dave Lash's cum-shot is a little blurry, for example. So don't expect crisp, contemporary production values. But by the standards of their day, they're quite well done. Furthermore, a major bonus is the soundtrack by Patrick Cowley. If you don't know him, you should. He was responsible for many of the gay dance anthems of the late-70s and early-80s, such as "Menergy" and "Take You Home." It really adds to the historical quality of the films. Except for Dave, all the guys have their natural body hair. And needless to say, it's all bareback action. There's not a lot of DVD extras other than a slide-show of still images, but this classic deserves a place in any well-stocked porno library.
A DVD Review by The Porn Emperor