P.F.L.A.G. ( http://PFLAG.org ) parents take note: this film is not only great pornography, but a teaching tool as well. "8 Simple Rules for Doing My Son" is a titular take-off on the popular ABC sitcom, but the plot of a father trying to find his gay son the ideal man is devilishly cute, with a witty script and combustible voracious sex doing it justice. I'm here to tell you that if I thought my parents would have been this fervent in finding me a man, I would have come out the moment I started speaking!
Fetching father Clay Maverick wants to help his gay son find a man. It all started when he came early from work one day to find his son having sex. Shutting the door, he notes, "I could have beaten the crap out of him. I had just washed those sheets!" Oh, and the son has issues? Forgetting the sheets, Clay decides to let Bobby Williams have his fun uninterrupted. Frankly, it would be a crying shame for Clay to have stopped adorable puckish Bobby from giving hunky inked Jacob Slader the blowjob of his life. In the film's wildest scene, Bobby literally attacks Jacob's cock, Jacob writhing in delight just standing up! Zing goes the chemistry right into sexual outer space. With a mouth ample enough to handle Jacob's bigness, Bobby never gives up on the six tons of energy. To keep it going, Jacob rolls Bobby onto his back and eats his ass. Actually, that sounds too tame. With a blast of energy that could fill six cans of Red Bull, Jacob tongue fucks the hell out of Bobby, using his entire head, all of his spit and so much lust. Even Jacob's mock-fuck of Bobby has wattage. Jacob fucks Bobby for real, and from the onset, it's a winner. Jacob slams into Bobby, at Bobby's urging, using the bed as a bouncing pad. With Bobby twisted in half, Jacob leaps up and down on the bed, thrusting deeply into Bobby with each trip down. Things never abate! If you start at 110%, it might be normal to fall back a few notches, but these two only add to the energy as they continue. Bobby is just nuts for cock. When Jacob pulls out for even a second, Bobby reaches back and pulls the dick back into him. Playing like guys who have gone without for years, they really nail this scene, the air never escaping. When Bobby goes to bounce on Jacob's dick, I hoped the ceiling had padding, because that's how high he goes. After both cum, one suspects that perhaps Bobby isn't quite the newbie his father might suspect.
Clay decides Jacob isn't good enough for his son (he should have stayed at the door longer), so he goes online and finds three guys who are good candidates for his son. But, there are those pesky eight rules:
1. Good shape. 2. Good teeth. 3. Good dick. 4. Play safe. 5. Versatility. 6. Educated (and he uses a book to show the guys who might not be). 7. Clean. 8. And, no cheating. He will "get Medieval" on any ass that cheats.
Considering the boys are Jason Ridge (who fits numbers 1 through 5 just by showing up), Jason Crew (1-5, easily) and Eric Hunter (another safe 1-5er), Bobby is going to have a difficult time should he choose to play along. So, Clay takes them each to the convenient gym in the basement, where there is a yummy slow-motion montage showing them working out (with Jason's obnoxious character still in sunglasses). Bobby isn't at all thrilled when Clay reveals the play, but Clay forges on, with a demonstration on good gay sex from Rob Romoni and Troy Punk. Um, they all fit No. 5, so I don't know that any need lessons. Jason Ridge agrees and takes Eric Hunter back to the gym to show off.
Jason, nude but for the sunglasses, stands on a bench with all of his muscles glowing, and lets bright-eyed brunet Eric Hunter blow him. Hairy-chested Eric gamely gobbles his way around Jason's dick, worshipping the vain (in character) pretty-boy's body. If his blowjob doesn't have the heat of the last scene, neither does an erupting volcano, and Eric's calmness is a great addition to the scene. Jason finally shirks the shades in order to suck Eric's long cock. He's Eric's match in the ultra professional department, handily sucking him and chewing his nuts. Eric bends over Jason to 69, with Eric starting to touch around Jason's beautiful butt. Eric suddenly looks gleefully nasty as he slides in more fingers, getting three in there. His cock fits much better, and he's off like a shot. His fingering took care of opening up Jason, so his cock has a smooth fast-paced ride in the hairless butt. First missionary, then doggy, Eric aces the fuck, with Jason bleating appropriately. Eric's cock digs deep, and Jason even keeps an extra finger or two in his hole while he's getting fucked. Proving No. 5, Jason fucks Eric next. With the same exact speed, he plows into Eric. His face full of intensity and Eric now more emotional, this is a great final twist to another impressive scene. Both cum, looking deservedly exhausted.
The demonstration continues upstairs. Muscle stud Rob, brandishing a riding crop, tells hairy delicious Troy to bend over and aims to give him an enema. Bobby and Jason Crew leave, but Clay says he wants to see it, though without the douche. Troy notes that he's always clean, so they hasten to the sex, where Rob shows Clay, whose cock gets very hard very quickly, how to deliver and ideal rimjob. In this he succeeds with mouthwatering delight, lapping all around Troy's butt, a combination of chewing and licking that soon has Clay wanting to participate. So, Rob sucks him off, alternating his cock with Troy's. If Rob sticks just to the cockheads, it's most likely because he's saving up for the very fun double-suck he performs on them. Soon enough, Troy is in on the act, laying the others down and vaulting back and forth between them. This is a loud whipping blowjob, right in line with the energy level bar set so high in the other scenes. Listen to Rob and Clay moan in time to Troy's slurps and it becomes quickly obvious just how good a job Troy is doing. Clay tries sucking, too, taking on both Troy and Rob, demonstrating that his son must have gotten his talent from somewhere close on the family tree. With Rob eating his ass again, Troy returns to sucking statuesque Clay and then Rob gets a solo chance at Clay. Director John Bruno sends them into a three-way fuck. Clay is in the back, eagerly sliding into Troy, who parks his cock in Rob effortlessly. Clay fucks Troy solo, with the bottom trying his best to blow Rob while getting a cute jackrabbit fuck. Clay then fucks Rob with the same speed, but in the cause of versatility, Rob plays top to Troy before once again getting himself fucked, this time sitting on Troy.
I can't say whether any of the men above have read the complete works of all three Brontë sisters, or who showers twice a day (and let's leave cheating for another discussion), but it becomes readily apparent that Bobby, though bristling at his father's meddling, has taken a shine to Jason Crew, who will hopefully be a full 1-8er anyway. "You're the only one that's my type," Bobby tells Jason, who retorts happily, "cool, because I think you're fucking hot." So, stud puppy Bobby and lanky bushy-browed brunet Jason head off to Kissville with long tongues and bitable lips. Jason gives Bobby's ample cock a fine suck, whipping his head around it furiously. Jason sits on Bobby's chest to the big-eyed babe can suck him to the balls. Once again, Bobby proves that his talent is unfulfilled unless it's performing to the max. Jason forces Bobby into a rim-blow combo that ends with just the rimming, Bobby hungrily smacking his lips all over Jason's hairy butt. Jason turns around to suck Bobby again, this time deep-throating and munching ass as zestily as his new pal. Bobby gyrates all over Jason's curved cock until it's inevitable that it MUST go into his ass. So, he plunks down on it and the two ride off into porn heaven with a fuck that shows them both full of equal activity. Bobby, of course, is an absolute monster for cock, and in this position, as well as the ensuing doggy, he's ideal. Jason uses great speed and all the power Bobby demands in all positions. He seems particularly inspired missionary, perhaps because he gets to watch Bobby take him with so much desire. Clay obviously knew his son well when he demanded versatile partners, for supreme bottom boy Bobby skewers Jason next, turning in a topping round that is every bit as excitable and ferocious as his bottoming. The excellent fuck gets a big shot from Jason and then Bobby chews on Jason's cock until Bobby squirts off a gigantic load of his own.
The best joke in "8 Simple Rules" is that the son knows what he wants already! Bobby Williams owns this flick, thrashing his way through two scenes and book-ending with that pair of astonishing sexcapades. Cute as a button, innocent-looking but nasty as hell, Bobby, as the son of the title is helped by his father inadvertently, but dad should be content at all son has learned. Remember how I said this was a learning tool? Well, it's not just about tolerance and acceptance. "8 Simple Rules" teaches just how good porn sex can be!
DVD features: Chapters; gallery; trailers ("Construction Island," "Passions of War: Chapter 1: Honor" and "Drill Bill: Volume 1"); bloopers (Clay Maverick has the most shown dialogue flubs, but he maintains a great sense of humor the whole time); and no regional coding.
A DVD Review by Brent Blue
As wacky as a sitcom and just as believable, writer-director John Bruno brings us a sexy slice of the lighter side of gay porn. A divorced single father played by the drop dead gorgeous Clay Maverick finds out his college student son is gay and decides to help him find a suitable beau. Yep, it's silly and played for laughs, but the sex scenes sizzle, thanks in part to a great cast of performers. And before you ask, no, the father and son don't get it on in this production, although they are both very hot.
The son is played by the perfectly cast Bobby Williams, who's boyish charms, tight, hard body and insatiable sexual appetite are displayed well in the video. Daddy Maverick comes home from work early one day to find his son upstairs in the middle of giving street punk Jacob Slader a blow job. Rather than fly off the handle, Maverick decides to let them have their fun but realizes he needs to help his gay son find a better class of boyfriend. Luckily, we get to watch Williams and Slader go at it. Slader rams his ample cock in and out of Williams' throat, deeply face fucking the little dickpig. It's obviously not Williams' first time at the rodeo! Slader flips Williams onto his back and jams his tongue into Williams' pink boy hole. Slader alternates between sucking on Williams' boner and burying his face in his ass. It's hot and intense and gets even hotter when Slader teases that hole with his big rod. Eventually, he slides it in and starts pounding away. And pounding and pounding! Williams begs for it harder, and Slader delivers it, jackhammering away at his hole. I love how Williams stays rock hard throughout the fucking, even when he sits on the big dick and bounces up and down. Very hot! Eventually, both guys shoot their loads all over Williams' tight, smooth bod.
Maverick goes online and invites three guys (and two sex instructors) over to the house to court his son. Of course, he has eight simple rules that they must follow though: Be in shape, have good teeth, a nice cock, play safe, be versatile, educated, clean and never cheat on little slut Williams. The slightly over-the-top Maverick introduces Williams to the potential suitors, but he's not thrilled with his father's actions and threatens to move back to mom's house. Candidates Jason Ridge and Eric Hunter decide they're more interested in each other and head to the home gym to stretch some muscles. And if you guessed Ridge is stretching his dick muscle down Hunter's throat muscle, you'd be correct. Lucky Hunter gets face-fucked by Ridge's beautiful cock for quite a while before he has his own young hairy bone slurped on by Ridge. There's some hot 69ing going on, and then Hunter preps Ridge's tight hole by finger-fucking him. Hunter finally slides his fat cock up that gorgeous tan ass and pounds away. Hunter is soon on his back, getting his own furry hole rammed by Ridge. Both guys end the scene by shooting their loads.
Meanwhile, Maverick is having sex instructor Rob Romoni show Williams and potential boyfriend Jason Crew correct anal hygiene on his assistant Troy Punk. Romoni is hilarious in this over-the-top role. After Williams and Crew walk out on the lesson, Maverick still wants an education, so Romoni dives face first into a rimming lesson on Punk's hot ass. Maverick can't help but jack off during the butt munching, and soon his big pole is buried deep in Romoni's throat. Have I mentioned how hot Maverick is, with his post-fratboy good looks, tall athletic bod and killer cock? Okay, now I have. Punk and Romoni take turns giving head to everyone, and eventually, Maverick even takes the other two dicks in his mouth. Go Dad! The fucking starts with Punk in the middle, plugging Romoni's bubble butt while Maverick is fucking his hole in a standup three-way fuck. Punk and Romoni then exchange fucks and get plowed by Maverick before all three studs shoot off their wads. What an open minded Dad!
A still pissed off Williams heads off to his bedroom, where Crew tells him that although it was a bit odd, his father really did mean well by bringing the guys over for him to meet. And if he hadn't, the two of them wouldn't have met. That's the cue for these two boys to start making out and stripping down. Tall, slender Crew gobbles down Williams' bone and then mounts his new buddy's face and rams his own long cock down Williams' hungry throat. The young studs 69 and rim each other, but it's Williams' ass that gets fucked as he sits on Crew's big boner and bounces all over the bed on it. These two horny boys are totally into each other as Crew goes wild on Williams' hole. In a surprise move, Crew gets his furry little hole pounded by Williams, fucking a load right out him, with Williams squirting off a minute later. Has Maverick found the perfect guy for his son? Not sure, but they sure are sexually compatible!
I have to admit that it's nice to review a story line that isn't intense all the time. This is light-hearted, cute and funny without being too campy. Maverick, although I doubt he could have a kid as old as Williams, is perfect in his role, and Romoni and Punk are hilarious. Most importantly, the sex rocks in this DVD, and that's mostly thanks to two awesome performances by Williams. For more laughs, the DVD contains bloopers (dialogue, no sex) that are great. Congrats to director-writer Bruno for a funny and sexy video.
- Ryan Williams
