As the name suggests, this latest TITAN feature includes only three scenes. But they're very nice scenes. Also as the title suggests, there are three "easy pieces" in it. Pieces of ass, that is. But more about that later.
TITAN's production values just keep getting better. The opening credits remind us of the credits to a sitcom set in San Francisco -- lots of scenic views of the city from interesting angles. Of course, sitcoms don't show guys fucking. But other than that ... BruceCam's excellent photography is in evidence throughout, along with great lighting and editing. There's just one major flaw, and it's connected to the three pieces of ass mentioned above. But we'll keep you in suspense about that a little while longer.
As our story begins, Peter Wilder and Michael Vincenzo are getting off from their construction work jobs. (Getting off -- no kidding!) They pull their pickup into a workshop to discover Van Darkholm working on his own steel girder. You have to be a complete porno novice not to know who Peter Wilder is; and Michael Vincenzo is a very cute, short swarthy guy. Van Darkholm sounds like the name of some warrior of Valhalla; oddly enough, he's a tall, muscular Asian guy.
Naturally, instead of being upset that Van is milking the clock (so to speak) they join in. Peter performs his usual cockhungry bitch-in-heat routine, but all three performers are horny and attractive, showing plenty of pleasurable responses to all the action. Attention soon focuses on Peter's ass. Lots of attention. The assplay goes on a long time before the fucking begins. Peter is bent over a workbench and the two workers take turns inserting their rivets. One of the nice things about TITAN is you get to see guys grabbing the lube and rolling on the condoms, which is a nice touch of realism. After a thorough fucking, everybody shoots nice loads, especially Van. Michael even comes twice. So Peter is our first easy piece of ass.
Paul "Geyser" Morgan and the tall, goofily-cute Tim Mackenzie are apartment hunting. They happen upon a nice Victorian with a spacious airy apartment. Slightly built and hairy-chested Dean Maxwell is painting it, getting it ready for the new tenants. Although he's not the owner, he lets them in for a look-see. We hope Tim and Paul are Silicon Valley multimillionaires, because this place probably costs $5,000 a month. While they're looking it over, the two lovebirds can't keep their hands off each other, and they repeatedly break into heavy-duty makeout sessions while painter Dean sneaks discreet peeks. Paul finally gets so hot he has to to whack off in the bathroom while Tim makes small talk with Dean. Now, you might think it's a mistake to let Paul Morgan jack off in your freshly painted bathroom. You'd have to paint it all over again to get rid of the cumstains on the walls and ceiling. Fortunately, Paul shows a little restraint here and has a more normal, dribbly cumshot (must have been shot later in the day, after the main action).
Despite this toilet-time self-abuse, Paul and Tim can't even make it down the stairs of the apartment building before they're making out and the clothes come off. Paul and Tim are pretty good actors -- they really seem like boyfriends. Meanwhile, Dean is whacking off and watching them from the apartment door. After exchanging seductive glances with Tim (who looks somehow less goofy and even more cute with his clothes off), Dean joins in the action. The two immediately begin working over Dean's hole, and Tim is fucking him in no time, right there in the stairwell. The two take turns, and Paul even fucks Dean poised precariously above the banister. You'd think they'd be afraid of tumbling to their deaths down the stairs. Dean still looks cute and cuddly however, even when he's being fucked on a dropcloth. He still has big blobs of paint on his face and shoulder. He shoots while Paul is fucking him, then Paul gives one of his patented geyser cumshots (rivalled only by Spike), and Tim brings up the rear (to coin a phrase).
The final scene was the Emperor's favorite.
It had the biggest, hairiest guys in it. Ric Hunter, all dressed up in a tie, has gone to the airport to pick up newcomer Brice Patton. He delivers Brice back home to a shirtless Austin Masters. We think that they must be involved in some kind of interesting three-way love-affair because all three are equally into each other right from the start. And yet, they seem to be showing Brice their house. Oh, we get it! Brice is a mail-order bride!
They end up in a minimally furnished room with a beautiful view. It's a huge expanse of carpet with a heavy-looking coffee table and a couch shoved way over to one side. Oh, and there's a telescope for spying on the neighbors. In any case, with all that open space, it's the perfect sexual playground.
This is one of the better three-ways in the Emperor's memory, because -- like the previous scene with Paul and Tim -- all three performers seem to have a real attachment to each other. There are lots of moments with all three bodies entwined and feeling each other, and three-way kissing. Ric is the bald daddy-type with a moustache; Austin Masters is his usual hairy perfection; and Brice has beautiful black hair and is quite handsome and hairy himself. We relate to Brice, since he spends time doing what we'd like to do ourselves: squeeze and play with Austin's hairy pecs. There's quite a bit of variety in the sex play, and Rick comes prematurely onto Brice's hairy tummy and licks it off. But not to worry -- he's not done yet. Attention then focuses on Brice's butt and Rick and Austin take turns fucking him. We hope Brice doesn't get carpet burns on his knees. There's a particularly nice moment when Ric is fucking Brice and eating Austin's ass while Austin is humping Brice's back. Eventually, Rick comes again, this time on Austin's hairy tummy, followed by Brice and Austin himself. Rick tells Brice, "Welcome to San Francisco." See? We told you he was a mail-order bride! He's also the third of the easy pieces of ass.
Now here comes the frustrating part: during the opening credits, we're treated to two clips of Ric pounding away at hunky Austin's ass. This was completely edited out of the actual scene. Aaarrrgh! We love seeing Austin get fucked. We THINK they must have done this because of the "three easy pieces" theme. That is, there was only supposed to be one piece of ass in each scene. The Emperor can't imagine any other reason for leaving out such hot sex. But just FYI: porn fans aren't picky about mathematics.
Despite this disappointment, this is still a great video, as we've come to expect from TITAN. We liked all the guys, particularly new faces Van and Brice. And TITAN is always good about showing the whole bodies and not spending all the screen time on excruciating closeups.
It's just too bad we can't all have three such easy pieces.
A Video Review by The Porn Emperor
Whoever coined the phrase "three's a crowd" obviously never got the opportunity to be sandwiched between the hunks in Titan Media's 3 Easy Pieces. I have a feeling that that saying would change quickly if they got to get a little bit of Dean Maxwell's ass or Michael Vincenzo's cock.
Anyway, this video is about the threesome, in virtually every sense of the word. There are three scenes. Each lasts about 30 minutes, and each features three delicious guys. Titan even hauled out three directors to make sure things were consistent.
The video starts out with typical Titan videography (which, oddly enough, goes uncredited), and then we are introduced to construction worker Michael Vincenzo and his foreman, Peter Wilder. Vincenzo is a gorgeous, half-Italian/half-Lebanese stud (I know, because he told me) with a fantastic body and beautiful cock and ass. Wilder is still a favorite of mine - he's been around for a few years now, and watching his pretty asshole get plugged is always a pleasure. Vincenzo is, apparently, running late, and the two head back to the shop, where gorgeous Van Darkholm, a tall, sculpted Asian, is jerking off his thick dick. When Vincenzo and Wilder spy Darkholm, who can blame them for wanting to help him out? Both guys take turns sucking on his juicy cock (Darkholm rims, but he doesn't suck, which I found bizarre). Vincenzo rims Wilder as Darkholm slurps up Vincenzo's hole (and with all the spitting going on, I would swear that Chi Chi LaRue made her way on the set that day). Then Wilder is bent over the work table and being plowed by both big guys. Vincenzo blasts an explosive load that had to go past the cameraman. In fact, before the scene ends, Vincenzo gets off another blast while Darkholm and Wilder both produce their own gooey wads.
The next scene is my favorite: boyfriends Tim MacKenzie, a tall, athletic-looking fellow, and blond and tan Paul Morgan takes a look at an apartment for rent. They are let in the building by painter Dean Maxwell, young, cute and hairy (and a fave of mine). As Maxwell continues painting, letting the fellows look around, the b/f's decide to make out in literally every room. Morgan eventually heads to the bathroom where he beats off and lets go a tiny stream of cum, which apparently only whets his sexual appetite. When he returns, he and MacKenzie thank Maxwell for his time but only make it to the stairs before they start sucking each other's faces. Morgan has to have MacKenzie now, and he does. He drops to his knees and engulfs the big guy's lovestick as Maxwell catches a glimpse and becomes intrigued. MacKenzie and Morgan flip-flop, sucking each other before ascending to the second floor to let Maxwell join in. Then the scene gets good. Maxwell and Morgan kneel before MacKenzie and take turns swallowing his cock before the boyfriends bend the little painter boy over the railing. Each gets some licks into Maxwell's juicy asshole before first MacKenzie, then Morgan,slam their cocks deep inside the moaning bottom. After they fuck him there, they throw him on his back on the floor and complete the job, painting his chest with their own special white paint.
The final scene involves three macho, mustachioed daddy-bears: Bryce Patton, Ric Hunter and Austin Masters. Hunter has picked up Patton from the airport - it's his first visit to San Francisco, where this vid takes place - and he and Masters show Patton just how friendly the folks can be up in S.F. There's lots of kissing and caressing with this trio, which seems to indicate that as one gets older (and these guys aren't that old, in their 30s-40s) affection becomes more important than the actual sex act itself. So these guys really go to town chewing on each other's lips and practicing the art of foreplay. There's a mass of hairy everythings as they each take turns devouring the others' cocks. Hunter playfully slaps Patton's hairy chests and then blows his wad all over it, gobbling up his own spunk. Patton is then bend over some stairs and plowed by both daddies. The scene ends with Masters on his back and Hunter letting loose another wad, which he quickly slurps up - he even shoots onto Patton's hair, but no worry - he gets that, too. Patton cums (which Hunter feeds him), and then Masters covers his hairy belly with white man-goo.
Some fine chemistry in all three scenes, the music is terrific, and some fantastic angles are caught, giving some treats for everyone. Well-directed and well-edited.
My only gripe was that all three of the scenes were almost too alike. They each only had one bottom who takes on both tops. Where were the daisy chains? You know, A fucks B as B is fucking C? There needed to be a little more variety for me. Then this trio of trysts would have been amazing.
However, in all, still a worthwhile bang for your buck.
- Jeremy Spencer