"Bear Boned" is tailor made for those of us who like a little extra meat on our men ( http://BearHistory.com ), and who also actually enjoy picking hairs out of our teeth after sex, even if a few of them are gray. Make that especially if a few of them are gray. A clever opening sets up the plot. Andy Dill is just looking to get a little action -- and he starts by calling blond power-bottom Riley Porter. Riley, though, can't be bothered. He's got Mario Ortiz in mind.
And with Mario's macho good looks, his beefy body, and his totally slurpilicious uncut dick, Riley knows he's got more than enough man waiting for him. Even though Mario's dick looks to be more than enough to satisfy even the horniest bottom, his long, pointed tongue, as it's sliding in and out of Riley's asshole, looks equally able. Riley's ass, primed by the long rim he's gotten, opens up easily to take all of Mario's thick endowment, and Mario thrusts into him doggy, with Riley up on all-fours. Mario pulls out and strokes off a huge load of cum that lands on Riley's tanned ass. Riley's load, which he coaxes out of the head of his dick as Mario slams a thick dildo into him, is no less impressive.
Two serious bears, Clint Taylor and Wylie Edwards, Mr. San Diego Bear 2002 ( http://BearsSD.org ), are up next. Chewing big, beefy man booty occupies much of the scene at its outset, with Wylie tearing up Clint's hairy hole with his mouth and tongue. Wylie dumps a load on the rug while jerking off, the taste of Clint's hole still on his tongue, and then he goes totally oral on Clint's dick. Clint goads him with moans and excellent verbal encouragement, and then blasts off, totally infusing Wylie's mouth, goatee, and lips with a huge load of white stuff. The smell of semen must have lingered in Wylie's nostrils for days.
Poor Andy is still on the hunt for a fuck buddy. This time, he tries to call Steve "TitPig" Hurley, but unfortunately for Andy, as Hurley says, he's already getting his dick sucked -- by muscle daddy Damien. Steve plays with his legendary nipples as Damien works over his dick, which is tightly surrounded by a huge metal cockring. Damien's handlebar mustache looks great draped over Steve's meat. I loved Steve's gruff commentary as he gets his dick sucked. Steve takes his time fucking Damien's hairy asshole, sliding in and out of him deliberately and then pushing all the way back in. Damien's bluer-than-blue eyes roll back in his head from the treatment Steve is giving his asshole. Steve's load drips all over Damien's well-defined, hairy chest, and then Damien's cum gushes out over the head of his dick, dripping down the side of his hand.
Andy still can't catch a break. Now his roommate and his playmate (hunky dudes Dillon Press and Jacob Scott) are fucking each other senseless in the very next room. To be more precise, they're giving an onscreen lesson in ball worship, laving each other's orbs so lovingly in between bouts of cocksucking that you'd think they were covered in honey. Jacob shoots first, all over Dillon's shaved head, then Dillon stands and Jacob sucks his cock, as the camera gets a shot of Dillon's beautiful, puckered asshole. Jacob, up on all-fours, gets his buff butt pierced by Dillon's lengthy dick, and Dillon leaves gobs of white stuff on Jacob's ass when he shoots his load.
Andy finally gets some action, in the form of young cutie Mario Cruz. Mario's tight, nearly hairless body makes a nice contrast with Andy's rugged, hirsute physique. Mario spends a lot of time giving Andy a great blow and ball-licking, and then Andy greedily sucks Mario's uncut meat, making the young stud hard as a rock. Andy bends over and Mario slams his hard cock inside, fucking the older man as he moans loudly. Mario's big, low-hanging nuts bounce as he slides inside Andy's hairy hole. The camera gets some great shots of Mario's dick invading Andy's furry hole, and of Mario jerking Andy's dick as he fucks him. They end with two huge cum-shots: Mario squeezes out a major load from his foreskin-covered cock, some of which lands on Andy's dick, and Andy uses Mario's cum as lube, jerking off to a big, spurting climax.
Big loads. Masculine hairy men. And hot sex. A winner from director Brad Austin.
DVD features: Chapter selections; cum-shots index; slide-show galleries; bonus scenes (a four-way from "Thrill Me!," directed by Josh Eliot, with Jared Wright, Hank Hightower, Mike Vespa and Joshua Scott; and a duo with Eric Evans and Mike Vespa); trailers; and no regional coding (with Macrovision copy-protection).
A DVD Review by Martin Cox
Bear Boned is Catalina Video's latest entry in its Furry Features series. It's a solid effort, and I was dripping in anticipation since hairy men are my preference. While there's plenty of fur in this video, and I enjoyed it, I was a tad disappointed to see some of the models were smooth and some had their chest hair trimmed. However, this video does have some hot action, and it also features two bonus scenes from Catalina's vaults, both of which include the furry-bottomed Mike Vespa.
The nominal story line here involves poor Andy Dill trying, with no luck, to get laid. In the first scene, he calls Riley Porter and invites him over to play. Unfortunately, Porter's hus-bear, Mario Ortiz, is waiting in the next room for Porter to get off the phone and onto his dick. Ortiz's Latin meat springs to attencion with an oral assist from Porter. There are some nice foreskin closeups during this blow. Ortiz gets Porter's ass nice and lubed, sucks his balls, then mounts him doggie-style. After he shoots on Porter's rump, Porter pinches out a shooter that, unfortunately, is partially obscured by his hand.
Next, Dill tries hooking up with luscious cubby Clint Taylor. But Taylor is just getting ready to trick out with Wylie Edwards (Mr. 2002 San Diego Bear). Edwards walks out of the bathroom decked in his bar gear, and he and Taylor do what bears do best: Play. Edwards jacks himself while eating Taylor's ass. After some dick-slurping, Taylor shows off an incredible eruption into Edwards' beard. Then he uses his still-hard prick to slather his cum all over Edwards' face fur. This is the raunchiest faceful of cum I've seen in years and is one of the main reasons to check out this movie.
Dill then tries hooking up with his good buddy "Tit Pig" Steve Hurley. But just his luck, Hurley is in the middle of getting his dick sucked by Damien. After sucking each other, Damien gives up his butthole to Hurley's poker. Another hot moment for me in this video was the camera's attention to Damien's curly butt hairs during the fuck scene with Hurley. I swear the only reason I didn't lick my TV screen was because I hadn't dusted recently! The scene ends with both Hurley and Damien jacking to climax.
Dill, alone too long, finally decides to drop trou and treat his body like the playground it is. While listening to his roommates Jacob Scott and Dillon Press getting nasty in the next room, Dill decides he can't hold back any longer and begins to stroke his poke. When Mario Cruz calls him and invites him over to his house to play, Dill drops his dick, pulls up his pants and hightails it out of there. Meanwhile, Scott gets sucked by Press, and we get a great closeup of Scott's hairy balls getting licked. Scott, who has the handsomest-looking dick in the movie, then returns the oral favor. Press finishes by fucking Scott and cumming on his hard, round ass.
Finally, Dill shows up at Cruz's house. Dill is absolutely adorable, and it was hard for me to believe that most of the other performers turned him down instead of inviting him over for a three-way. Dill face-fucks Cruz, then they switch, and Dill goes to work on Cruz's penis. Cruz has very thin foreskin that reveals a great profile of his dickhead, but unfortunately, it doesn't get enough screen time here. The foreskin is Cruz's best feature, and I would have liked to have seen more of it. Likewise, Dill has a beautiful furry crack that I would have liked to have gazed at for a couple of more minutes during his plugging by Cruz.
Dill is the bottom in this scene, but I would have preferred to see him top with Cruz. Dill is an energetic and lively performer, while Cruz appears to be just going through the motions. I'm looking forward to seeing Dill with another performer who matches his enthusiasm.
Finally, there are two bonus scenes on this DVD. Both are from Catalina's vaults, and both include Mike Vespa. Vespa is a favorite of mine, and it was great to see his furry bottom and fat, cut cock grace my TV screen again. The scenes presented include Vespa and Eric Evans in the construction site scene from Furry Men Do! and Vespa in the barroom four-way from Thrill Me!
All in all, Bear Boned is a good effort, but seeing Vespa again made me want to order Furry Men Do! and Thrill Me! on DVD right away.
- Matt Woods