From all over (Eastern, despite props that pretend otherwise) Europe, a gaggle of twinks are ready for college life. This college caters to the very young, in uniforms, more like prep school than college, but the professors decked out to look like it's Oxford seem to be the main clue that this is college. And what will our young friends learn in this peppy little raw movie? Nothing that comes from books, I assure you. Oh, they'll pretend now and then, but it's sex they want and sex they get, these cute boys who have heard of neither the "freshman 15" or the library.
Everyone assembles for school, roommates are given and two boys are in the shower. Drying off, they reveal hardons, so why crack a book when there are other, more exciting cracks. The brunet goes down on the uncut blond while right outside the bathroom, three more guys are downing champagne. The brunet sucks the luscious cock rather tentatively and then bends over so the same cock can invade his tight ass. He winces as the blond tries to get inside, a process that takes a bit of time. Admittedly, he eventually gets in all the way, but it rarely seems comfortable. The blond has a cute hip swivel motion that he uses as a top. A switch to missionary comes with no more lube than a trickle of spit, but this turns out to be an easier position for the guys. The bottom comes on his clenched abs and the top creams on his bottom's cock. "Now we have to go again to the shower," the brunet chirps.
Meanwhile, the scene above had been interrupted now and then for the three roommates getting increasingly plastered on champagne and music on the radio circa 1958. Next come the girlie mags and the invitation "let's wank together." Three mouthwatering cocks are unleashed. Eventually, their hands are not enough, so the nearly-shaved-headed guy stands up to suck the kid in the top bunk while getting blown by the guy in the bottom bunk. The short-haired guy has a lively air to him, but he's also sucking the biggest dick in the room, so perhaps that's impetus. One of the guys strips down to some very sexy tattoos and the other two gobble him together. The champagne cork is placed in the red-faced brunet's ass, but is soon replaced by the cock belonging to the short-haired pup. He has a sweet little swagger to him, pushing jackrabbit thrusts into the bottom. Then the tattooed guy takes over as topman, having an easy time getting his cock in and out as the bottom is now well-lubed. The tops keep taking turns and having fun, flipping the bottom onto his back for some variety. The big-dicked bottom cums as he's being hammered, but continues to get fucked for a while. The tattooed guy is fitted with a dildo so he can shoot and the short-haired guy blasts on his roommate's inked arm.
As the previous scene was unfolding, two more guys slip into a storage closet to bang each other. The smaller guy with the tussled hair is hard and the other asks to see it. "Wow!" he exclaims, pulling out the uncut member. "May I?" asks the shorter-haired one. "Go for it," he's told and he dives down for a silent attack blowjob. These two have notably hot bodies, particularly the one with the wild hair. He sucks next, both keeping on only their school-issued ties. The spikey-haired guy is a more intense sucker, working from the balls to the foreskin. The spikey-haired cutie is the top, plowing at his friend with zest, though the bottom wears a look of pain most of the time. However, close-ups show how hard the top is working and that, combined with the live sounds and the extreme physical sexiness of the top, give the scene its pep. Given the right bottom, this top could easily rattle off a wowing scene. He aims his cum-shot right at the bottom's hole and there's a lot of spunk he pushes in with his finger. Just as the bottom is cumming on his top's face, another student opens the door to watch, but quickly disappears before he gets to see the top licking his bottom's cock clean of cum. As a surprise, the top is hard again, so he quickly puts the bottom on all-fours and fucks him again! He's harsher this time and leaves a second very impressive mass of goo right as a professor walks in and catches them, announcing, "this is a store room, not a bordello!" Oh, please! You're just jealous.
We're either transported to 1873 or a Far Eastern nation where caning is still allowed, because the headmaster actually takes a cane to the two guys he found in the storage closet. I won't complain about seeing their asses again, but the scene is a bit odd. Wait, it gets even goofier! The headmaster tells them, "you and I both know if you want that sort of action, the best place is the attic, not the store room." Wow, a bit too much info from creepy grandpa headmaster.
In another dorm room, the short-haired guy from the first three-way finds two more brunet pals for another session, this time minus the radio. They have a race to get undressed and see who can jack off first. The very thin tattooed twink is first, followed by our repeater from the first three-way and then the third, with his toes curled and all.
In a classroom while all of the above is going on (yes, it all kind of happens at once), the teacher dismisses his class, but a few boys stay behind, with the tall blond pretending he's the teacher and whipping out yet another cane. The two dark-haired boys, still in pants, allow the kid playing teacher to whack their bums and everyone is turned on. They go through the real teacher's desk and find some porn magazines. One chirps that the woman in the pictures probably gives a good blowjob, but one of the boys brags he can do better, the hook for the action to start. To be fair, we don't see what the woman in the magazine is capable of, but the blond teacher-pretender does a decent job with the round-faced guy's thick cock. The scene's most succulent guy then offers his dick for sucking, causing the sucker to go back and forth before committing the ultimate porn no-no and pulling out a ruler to compare everyone's sizes. The teacher-pretender is bent over the desk and fucked, first by the looker (again, there seems to be no lube in this institute of higher education), who rams the bottom with resolute desire, keeping the bottom very hard. The other guy gets in on the act so the teacher-pretender can feel both styles. The bottom is first to cum, the round-faced top drops his load on the bottom's nose and then our stalwart top has a most impressive blast aimed at the bottom's ass hole. They are all back in place by the time the real teacher returns, noting "it smells like a gymnasium in here, you must have been working very hard, I'm very impressed." Yes, because nothing makes three guys sweat like studying history.
In what looks to be someone converted office, a sublimely handsome blondish guy is using a punching bag and a tall good-looking guy keeps coming in and out of the office watching him. The brunet offers to hold the bag while the hunky blond punches away, but the blond slips and knocks one at the brunet's chest, so he apologizes, their eyes meet, the twinkly music starts and the two start to tentatively touch. This is the first kissing in the movie, giving this scene a totally different romantic feel from the others. The brunet sucks his well-hung boxing friend, who coos happily to receive the blowjob, though it's only given at the head. The blond-flecked boxer pal is a heartier blower, using his hand and gobbling somewhat deeper. The boxer fucks his pal and now all semblance of romance is gone as he rams the kid hard, waking up the movie for the first time since the store room top did such ace work. This guy really knows how to blast ahead as a top. He then stands the bottom up, having him hold onto the punching bag so he can go at him in a completely new position. The bottom's geyser blast hits the camera below, but he continues to bottom until his top is ready to aim a cum shot right at his used hole.
Even the school doctor's office isn't safe from these randy twinks. Unfortunately, the doctor himself, a beefy swarthy guy who would no doubt be a huge asset here, gets called away just as his first patient has gotten nude for a check-up. Out in the waiting room is a kid who looks more than a little zonked, and it takes him way too long to realize is mate is naked only feet away and he should go over and play doctor. These two kiss as well, but only for a moment before the doctor-pretender is sucking his mate's curving dick. He is a sloppy sucker, which is a good thing, wet and a bit creative, though the patient-pretender isn't that hard. After just a blowjob, the doctor-pretender has his patient cumming literally right into his hand, feeding it back to his pal. They aren't done, don't worry. The zonked doctor-pretender gets his dick sucked, though he looks to be falling asleep as it happens. The sucker gets a mouth full of cum for his fine blowjob. These two quietly fuck, with the zonked guy the top and the other riding him, his own cock fiercely hard and swinging as he does so. The bottom cums again with the top way deep up in him.
In detention, a young teacher has only two boys, so he might as well take advantage of their skills while he writes on the board. There are two young guys, a blond and a guy with glasses, and they both suck on their knees, alternating on their professor's dick. Freed from their knees, they at least get to stand up and continue on the moaning teacher. The teacher has an exciting cum shot that he manages to spew on both boys at once. The teacher leaves (on his bike, which he uses indoors) and the boys continue, starting with a 69. The blond leaves another cum shot all over his friend's glasses (the teacher did that too) and the big-dicked nerdy kid shoots as well, letting the blond slurp it up and drizzle it back into the nerd's mouth. Now that's hot!
There is another scene at the doctor's office another scene between two guys who have been playing eye contact for about five scenes. As I suspected, the guy playing the doctor is pretty sexy. His patient is the short-haired guy from both threeways and he does all sorts of faux-torture stretchings to the kid, but only for a very brief time. The two other guys have a suck scene just long enough for one guy to cum in the other's mouth.
"The Secrets of College Life" attempts to tell us literally every possible secret, with way too many scenes. Overstuffing isn't necessarily a problem, but when the scenes are intercut like they are here, none can build any momentum, so only snippets of scenes ever get the chance to take off. There are some fairly talented kids here and given the chance to prove what they can do in a more standard type of scene, I think they would really shine.
DVD features: Chapters; trailers; and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Brent Blue ( http://www.ManNet.com )
*** Recommended ***
