"Earth Guys Are Easy" is exactly what it sounds like. It's a sci-fi porn spoof with the googly premise of an alien being jumping from body to body in order to fully understand human sex. Actually, the story is kept to a minimum and the sex to a whopping maximum, mainly because the heat of the guys is so overwhelming. Relative newcomer Brice Ebson dominates the proceedings, absolutely captivating in both of his scenes and just as missed in the ones in which does not perform. Tongue-in-cheek expert Sam Dixon and the trusty reliable Jordan Young have come up with a fun story, very knowingly shot, and have cast it with Dixon's well-trained eye for the best of exciting younger guys.
The alien here is Tony Alvarez, a Latino sexpot with a scarily massive cock. In order to get to earth, Tony zaps himself into an alley, proving that just about everyone knows how to find the boys. He picked a good spot, too, because muscular dreamboat Chris Bolt is making out with knockout big-lipped Brice Ebson. Chris hears a noise, goes off to find out what it was, and comes back fully ready to take on Brice. The action wastes no further time in getting started, the next shot being Chris' mouth on Brice's enormous cock, shot in this video's hallmark and welcome close-up. Chris is a wonderful deep-throater, getting the entire cock wet as he slaves down to the end. The camera pans out to catch the guys in full 69 and then Brice takes over. Chris' solid dick is more than a mouthful for anyone ... anyone but Brice. With a useful hand and a backless throat, Brice jumps on the dick with a zippy set of motions, letting his big bitable lips do most of the work. Unstoppable Brice has Chris writhing in delight. The chemistry between these two is the most overwhelming part of the scene and the main reason it works. That said, Chris then provides Brice with a rimjob that is as sexy as anything else in the scene. He's totally on fire, matching the perfect blowjob he had just gotten. To prove their zone, there is a long section of dry humping -- more sensual than much of what surrounds it, believe it or not. Proof of his star power comes in heaps as Brice bottoms for the tough excitable Chris. Both of them really feel the fuck (the faces tell that), but it's Brice who is the ace, whether sliding backwards onto Chris or just opening up wide for him. They achieve a grand rhythm together, turning into a ride for Brice in a most unlikely position, where Brice ratchets up the speed and power Chris has used even more. This is the best scene on the tape, giving a potent passionate feel to the rest of it.
The E.T. force jumps into Brice's body and returns its captor to the alley. The directors give him a wonderful dimly-lit solo lead-in to the scene. Ever the focus of the camera's obvious lust, Brice teases until lean chiseled Mitch Brody shows up. Mitch is overwhelmed by Brice's energy and even asks cheekily if he's possessed. "You could say that," Brice growls as he throws Mitch up against the wall for some make-out. He soon enough fishes Mitch's yummy dick out of his underwear and picks up orally where he left off in the last scene. If Mitch doesn't quite have the oomph of Chris, he does get caught up in Brice's exacting wanton talent. Shot again right in the middle of the action, Brice is the same ceaseless force he was previously, a never-ending well of throat. Brice's thickness proves difficult for Mitch's speedy mouth, but the camera finds a great angle from which to shoot his blowjob, namely behind him with his ass right in front of it. When Mitch gets timid about depth, Brice thrusts up into him, forcing him to develop into a much better suck than he might have given without such a sublime partner. Mitch actually proves himself a fine top, of course lit up again by Brice. Mitch is given to pulling full out and throwing his dick back in, which is absolutely okay with willing bottom boy Brice. Awkward lighting tends to doom any long shots attempted here, but the tight shots of Brice's knowing ass being plowed are enough to sustain the long fucking scene. Mitch is goaded on to tons of speed by the end of the scene, but near the end, suddenly things flip and Brice gets to show his topping talent. Though both are clearly tired, Brice never gives up, and Mitch gets a hell of a whomp, a little against his will. Just when you think things are tapering, however, there is an end-of-scene coup, with Mitch jamming Brice's ass with the entire neck of a wine bottle! He gets too turned on by his own display that he almost immediately reels off a cum-shot into his own mouth. This boy is scorching, and never more handsome and sexy than when he licks his fingers with a big grin at the end of the scene.
I can't imagine the alien finding a better home body than Brice, but it's probably time to try something else, so he takes root in Mitch, who bounds off to his shrink, Andy Hunter, the video's only hairy-chested hunk (with abs of death). With very little dialogue, the being in Mitch overwhelms (without any fight) Andy, who whips out his dick without question. It's a long piece, and Mitch, now inhabited, takes on the controlling role Brice had previously occupied. In fact, Mitch suddenly turns into an eager deep-throater, opening really wide to make sure Andy fits in. Retaliating in kind, Andy replaces depth with speed and gives the video's fastest blowjob, putting a maniacal smile onto Mitch's contented face. After some downright good sucking, Andy tosses Mitch over his desk and fucks him in an incredibly long session. The long cock shoots up the ass quite smoothly, and Andy doesn't flag in energy, but it seems Mitch is probably tired from the last scene. Though the camerawork is stunning in how it manages to capture the best of the action, the lengthy doggy-style position takes its toll, though it should be said that Andy has a focus that never lets up for a second. Andy saves some very menacing in-and-out action for the very end, and then they sit down to jack off. Waiting through the scene is rewarded by one of the most unique cum-shots I've ever witnessed. With the eerie space music full tilt in the background, Andy silently spins off a blast that shoots so far it smacks a very shocked Mitch square in the mouth. It then continues to spurt all over both Mitch and Andy, deservedly shown a second time from another angle lucky enough to catch it.
Three scenes of diligent one-on-one action give way to a short group scene that serves mainly to show off Tony Alvarez once again. Andy, of course now in possession of the being, calls in his therapy group, namely the rest of the cast. They start off with a group hug, and are immediately beamed onto the space ship, wearing no clothing and joined by Tony. Bathed in red late-night backroom lighting, this is where things get confusing. The continued reliance on close-ups, so necessary to the video's success up to now, doesn't allow each guy to emerge fully. You can see chiseled Lark Larson getting serviced orally by workaholic blond Cody Scott (who somehow manages to stuff a gigantic cock into his cheeks, though don't ask me how), while Lark and Joey Landis do their share of heavy blowing. This chain-sucking doesn't last long before three of the guys take over the rest of the scene. In fact, the focus is so much on bottom boy Kirk Kelly (an easy-on-the-eyes handsome lad) taking it from Lark and Tony that it's not clear where the rest of the guys are. However, Kirk is a most welcoming bottom, managing to get fucked by both of these colossal dicks while sucking the other with zest. Tony gets most of the topping chores, mainly by virtue of his incredible cock size, but also taking into account his quiet forceful fucking style. Kirk is a very squirmy bottom, scrunching up his face and noisily accepting it all. This is also not a long fuck (as this entire scene takes less time than the fucking in the other three scenes), but the main combination of Kirk and Tony does satisfy. All the boys stand over Joey for their cum-shots, which some big dazzlers shown without noting which face it goes with, and then Tony has a spouting solo shot that creeps up his chest.
If Brice Ebson had been in every scene, I certainly would not have minded. His lips alone make him one of the cutest new performers around, but it's his talent that wins the day. His body seems a sexual being in itself, inhabited by its own set of alien forces. He never seems to get tired of sex, acing it in every position he is given here (and he has a lot to do). His co-stars in "Earth Guys Are Easy" are a spirited bunch, even if many of them are dispensed with too quickly in the final scene. Given the randy sex the alien encounters in this movie, it would be no surprise to find an entire race soon descending on us, taking the form of hot guys into hot sex everywhere. Watch out, you never know when you may find yourself possessed, though you'll feel so much better after you do!
A Video Review by Brent Blue
Have we come to this? A synthetic human probe in the form of Tony Alvarez is sent to earth by aliens intent on studying our sexual interaction. Alvarez connects with Chris Bolt and takes over Bolt's body. Think of it as sex tag. After sex with the probe, you are "it."
Bolt is with Bryce Ebson, whose big, beautiful dick is more than a mouthful for Bolt. Then Ebson sucks Bolt a bit before some prolonged crack-fucking and penetration. Ebson take is in a variety of positions before jizz-coating his abs. Bolt gets his large load all over Ebson's torso.
The alien probe takes over Ebson (fucked into him, I suppose). Ebson returns to the alley where he initially met Bolt and hooks up with Mitch Brody. The boyish Brody has a man-size dick and is anxious to use it. Ebson and Brody swap blow jobs, then Ebson uses a wine bottle like a dildo and take the whole, long neck. After the Ernest & Julio Gallo warm-up, Ebson take the eager Brody up his butt before he turns top and pounds Brody's poop chute.
Now, Brody is "it." He has a scene with his therapist, Andy Hunter. They suck and fuck, transferring the probe from Brody to Hunter. Next, Hunter has a group session with Cody Scott, Lark Larson, Kirk Kelly and the returning Chris Bolt (proving what goes around, cums around) joining Tony Alvarez in an intergalactic orgy.
I've always been curious about what goes on in the minds of the guys who are into sci-fi. If Earth Guys are Easy is any indication, my curiosity is quenched and I don't need to know anymore. The performers do their best to rise above the material and make it a close encounter of the horny kind, but the filmmakers didn't make it easy on them.
- Rod Pierce