WARNING!
Distributor | Released | Length |
---|---|---|
Jet Set Productions | 2003 | 119 |
"Uncut Timber" is an Eastern European flick that screams out for wood puns and then follows them up with cute sex scenes. The guys are as attractive as their surroundings and uncut dicks are certainly in full force.
We start with Lubomir and Jan, who are nailing wood pieces together in a lumber factory. The first is a tall handsome brunet with smooth skin, the other a shorter guy with shorter hair and a sexy-as-hell body, not to mention piercings in his ear, nipples, eyebrow and navel. After some kissing and lovely licking, the tattooed guy blows the long uncut cock on his pal. He uses his hand to good effect, working well on the big head. They reverse, and since the smaller guy has a smaller cock, it's easier for his partner to swallow. The taller partner fucks his littler pal with tons of excitement. Boy, the bottom has a wonderful ass for fucking, though! The tongue piercing on the bottom rims his partner for a second to get him to cum. He follows suit with a decent shot.
The next scene introduces us to Tomas and Rohn. One, a cutie with a serious face and a solid muscular body, invites his blond long-haired (so long it's Fabio long) friend over for a bite to eat during a break before they head off to the factory. Then they release their own timber (see, I told you). The long-haired guy has a tad of hair on his chest and his friend licks and bites all over his chest. His cock then gets the same attention, as well it should, a hot, thick piece! The blower takes the cock in a riding position, the energy level going up tenfold while he stretches to take a huge amount of dick in his ass. It's a pleasure to watch his body work, all of his muscles so tuned up. The bottom then gets his pecker blown rather lazily in time to land a splatter of cum on his long-haired friend's chest. The other's cum-shot dots the tattoo on the bottom.
Either Ivo or Vladimir is the foreman of this place, a thin wiry kid, and he basically forces one of his workers, a somewhat older dish with a magnificently lean muscular body, to blow him. This sucking is more animated than some of the others, partially due to the foreman's springy cock and partially to the energy level of the sucker. They switch places, where the foreman takes it nice and slow, and the receiver posing to show off his body to its best advantage. There's a nice treat when this same hunk is the recipient of an interested rimming right before the foreman plows him. Shot in loving close-up, the top can squeeze most of himself inside his bottom, and both missionary and doggy positions are fun to watch. The top gets blown until he creams (and then a bit after) and the scene ends with the bottom unloading on the top's leg.
Michal and Stefan move big logs into the factory, and then watch them go through a machine. After watching all this wood shoved, isn't it time they shoved a bunch of their own wood (oh, come on, it's been two scenes since I used a pun!). One is a tall dyed-blond with a moppet hairstyle, the other a severe looking boy-next-door type with a short buzz-cut. The buzzed one has a fat squat cock that the moppet sucks with ease and grace. He seems to enjoy himself a lot and spends copious time on the balls. The moppet than stands over his friend, wearing the tightest of stark-white undies, and gets his cock blown. His sucker uses his hand to good effect, though he seems a bit uncomfortable, actually, sucking cock. The hottie moppet is the top, and the most exciting so far. He is truly able to shove his entire dick deep inside his bottom, and he does so with tons of oomph. His one hand is planted firmly on his own shapely butt throughout. He rims his bottom for a moment to get his bottom to cum, and then follows with his own on his exhausted bottom's chest.
Lukas and Jaroslav are moving wood from one pile to another when some sort of boss comes upon them, bearing two more guys. This boss (either Petr, Robin or Ladislav -- they are never identified) must be smart, because the cute blond sports a pair of glasses. He gets horny watching these four guys work and takes two of them deeper into the forest for his own pleasure. The blowing starts with the most ordinary looking of the three trying his best to suck the tallest of the pack, giving the cock over to the guy with the glasses. There is no sharing or alternating, just two distinct blowjobs in this curiously underplayed scene. There is more sucking with the glasses-wearer having each guy suck his cock, and then, in the only display of three-way action in the scene, the one with the glasses has his dick blown by the first sucker as he himself sucks the tallest guy. This gets the glasses-wearer to cum and he immediately leaves. The tallest player fucks the other one, but they are seemingly spent, so the fuck doesn't have a lot of chemistry or power. Both guys have decent cum-shots in the end.
That three-way left Lukas and Jaroslav all alone to sex it up. In the most exciting scene, the peppery boy-band blond with the G-string undies and the muscle-bound brunet hunk mix it up. They tongue-flick each other's mouths and then the boy-bander's massive cock, with tons of foreskin, is blown very heartily by his strapping partner. The sucker is intent on providing as much pleasure as possible, and he does it all while maintaining eye contact. His friend, who also provides a worthy wet blow, sucks the buff player, gorgeous ass to the camera at first. After they switch places once again, the boy-bander fiercely screws his buff partner. This is a major power-fuck, fast-paced, exciting and deeply penetrating. They work first in missionary, and then standing up against a tree until the blond has a messy good cum-shot. The brunet hunk follows suit with his own white sap (okay, so shoot me!).
The final showdown of woody prowess finds Lukas and Jiri taking time off work to head into the green pasture. One is a sharp-nosed tan guy in overalls, the other a very boyish adorable fellow. He looks very innocent, but when he opens his mouth to deliver a blow on the overall-wearer's giant cock, he's suddenly a major league pro. In fact, his sucking time is nearly double what anyone else got, and it's because he's superb. They switch off and if the second blow isn't as good as the first one, it would have been tough to live up to it, anyway. Overalls squats on top of his cute partner to get his balls licked, and then rolls into position so he can also have his hairy ass eaten. The rimming is just as good as the blowing. In a nice twist, it's the more buff overall-wearer who is fucked, taking a fine passionate plow from his always-surprising partner. The energy level is as high as the preceding scene, and both guys work very hard during the anal action.
The final two scenes are just wonderful. If the others lag behind a bit, it seems due to some chemistry issues and some lack of interest. But, when these guys are on, they are on! Saving one last pun: I do have to admit that not once does a piece of wood wilt here. No saplings, just mighty timber!
DVD features: Chapter index; cum-shot chapter; slide-show photo gallery; videographies; and trailers ("The Hole," "American Porn Star," "Mirage," "Jet Set Fraternity Gang Bang," "The Fuk Club" and "Jackhammer").
A DVD Review by Brent Blue
Every one of the 15 Eastern European youths in Jet Set International's new release, Uncut Timber, is blessed with a slim, lithe physique traditionally known as The Swimmer's Build. In this two-hour, seven-scene marathon, however, these naturally defined, uncut cuties do not portray aquatic athletes but workers at a lumber yard/sawmill where there's always time for a sex break. All billed under only their Christian names, they are strikingly handsome and enviably hung, and they dive into sexplay with more enthusiasm than most Eastern European performers. Frequently, one can even believe that they are actually hot for one another.
After an opening montage of the location, the film moves quickly into the first sex scene. In it, a pair of coworkers (Lubomir, a beauty in the Lukas Ridgeston mold, and Jan, a multi-pierced club kid pixie) are first seen assembling pallets. In a jarring jump cut, they suddenly are kissing, and a crucial part of the action -- when and how they connect -- is missing. Both are proficient, adrenalized cocksuckers (in both standing and sitting positions), and Jan even works his tongue into his buddy's ass for a while until another jump cut whisks them to the anal portion of the action. Lubomir fucks his partner doggie style before splashing his load all over the kid's face and shoulder. Another cut takes viewers to Jan's money shot as he sprawls on the floor, and then the scene stops short. The result is like a Reader's Digest version of what might have been a very hot scene.
The second loop features two other members of the crew (Rohn, who made such an impression, billed as Rudolf, in Jet Set's Young Men about Town, and Tomas, a blond with shoulder-length hair). They spend some time feeding logs through a table-saw before Rohn says (in English), "You are a very pretty boy." In no time, they are kissing and caressing. Rohn does the yeoman's share of the sucking (in standing and sitting positions) before he sits on Tomas's airborne hard-on and rides it with great agility. Another abrupt cut leads to footage in which Tomas does a bit of sucking before Ronan brings himself off all over his pal's shoulder. Then the action cuts to another position in which Tomas pounds out his load all over Rohn's tattooed pec. Both money shots are presented first in long shot, then in close-up, and the scene breaks off. The director's motto seems to be get in, get the obligatory shots, get the actors off and get out.
In the third sequence, the foreman (Ivo, an assertive brunet) pulls aside one of his underlings (Vladimir, a sandy-haired subservient) and wastes no time in forcing the kid to his knees. Under the clear blue sky, Vladimir buries his nose in his boss' crotch and soon is servicing his upright dick (in both sitting and standing positions). One bounce cut later, the boss reciprocates briefly but is clearly anxious to skip to the fucking. They go at it both missionary and doggie in unconnected snippets until Ivo sprays his load all over Vladimir's face. Another direct cut brings them to the latter's money shot -- he drops his load on Ivo's knee. Vladimir is a noisy moaner and groaner, and has the best six-pack of abs in the entire film, but the sequence ultimately feels patched together.
The most frustrating scene of Uncut Timber is the next one, in which one worker (Stefan, a compact little brunet) teaches another (Michal, a tall, delectable blond) how to strip bark from logs. In turn, Michal teaches him a thing or two about man-sex. An excellent tutor, Michal clearly knows his way around a hard cock, and he is even able to swallow most if not all of Stefan's anxious erection in a series of unconnected tableaux. Then they shift roles, and the moment when Stefan first works Michal's ready rod out of his snow-white briefs is memorable. The scene jumps from one position to another as Michal elaborately rims and forcefully fucks his novice partner to a fountain pop shot while plugged. (Both money shots are again played twice.) The sequence is filled with jewel-like moments, but there is no through-line of a necklace on which to hang them.
Next up is a three-way among a trio of lumberjacks out in the woods (Robin, a blond Leo Ford look-alike, Laoisha, a pale-skinned naif who seems lost in the proceedings, and Petr, another blond who wears glasses). Robin and Petr kiss, caress and suck, but Laoisha remains largely peripheral. Soon Petr fires off his load and leaves the other two to fuck. Robin plows dispassionately into Laoisha, who endures what looks like his deflowering. As before, the money shots (Robin's on Laoisha's cheek, Laoisha's on Robin's abs) are played out twice, followed by a quick fadeout.
Elsewhere in the woods, focus shifts to another pair of lumberjacks (Lukas, a preening brunet with blond streaks in his hair and lots of jewelry, and Janoslav, a beefy, butch peasant in knee-high rubber boots). Janoslav is the aggressor, kneeling to give Lukas a vacuum-cheeked blow job that suggests this is not the first cock he has had in his mouth. Lukas, too, knows what to do with manmeat -- and does it very well. Then, suddenly, they are in the middle of a hot fuck -- surprisingly, with Lukas on top, Janoslav flat on his back, boots to heaven. The action sizzles, but almost before the viewer can enjoy it, they have shifted (between shots) to doggie position and a few moments later to orally induced money shots. Again, we have seen only Hot Shots from a Sex Scene.
The final loop is the most fully realized of the film, and it simmers nicely from its opening moments in which two workers (Jiri, a strong-jawed brunet, and Lucas, a baby-faced satyr) are tediously piling logs. Soon Lucas announces (in English), "I don't like this work... I like sex with you, okay?" In a trice, they are trudging through tall underbrush, kneading their crotches in preparation. When Jiri whips out his staff, Lucas gasps, "You have a big cock." Indeed he does, but that doesn't stop the lanky sex puppy from attacking it. He is a first-rate oralist, and his ministrations are understandably given far more screen time than Jiri's. Lucas also knows how to eat ass; Jiri soon finds himself upended and, in time, fucked in two positions. The long shot of each's orgasm (on one another's chests) is repeated in close-up, and the film doesn't end so much as it just stops.
In Uncut Timber, the director (Roman Czernick) must be praised for getting surprisingly believable performances out of his actors. On the down side, however, the sexual choreography of one scene is very much like that of another, and one can almost see him holding a standard check list of necessary positions and angles. Each shot is held too long, each scene not long enough. Too often, there is no through-line to enhance the illusion that the viewer is watching men in heat for each other. Instead, we are again and again given choppily edited great moments from a skilled but formulaic video shoot.
- Jerry Douglas