"Lost on Sex Island" is director Thor Stephans at his campy best, and even without the giggly outrageous plotting speeding the production along, the star of the story is Billy Brandt, not taking a moment to rest on his laurels, but instead giving an intense all-out performance worthy of the screen time he's given. He looks fantastic, acts the part well, and is sexy as hell in the fucking scenes. And, even though it seems to be inspired by "The Island of Dr. Moreau," no one goes around in Marlon Brando's pancake make-up and considerable heft, thank goodness.
When the story starts, Billy is shoving a note into a plastic water bottle, chucking it into the ocean. He looks nervous, telling us in narration that someone "over there in Key West has to find one of these damn bottles." He's been stranded on this strange island after a fishing accident (he went fishing in jeans and a tank top). He doesn't look any worse for the wear, with his highlighted blond hair coming down over a chiseled handsome face and a body fresh from the gym. Apparently he hides in the bamboo during the day, and he's forever chased by unseen predators. This is, of course, one of those only-in-porn islands where the guys trot around in miniscule loincloths popped off with the ease of a snapped finger. Anyway, one of his notes, not to mention a convenient Polaroid of himself he happened to take on this fishing expedition (he must have watched "Gilligan's Island" as a kid and packed accordingly), finds its way to Drew Peters. Billy explains in the letter that the island is run by Dr. Vixen, a ruthless man who delights in all things sexual. (And this is a problem because?!)
Once the plot kicks in, Billy is accosted in his bamboo by twinky Kirk Kelley, and the experience is transcribed in the note. Kirk adores Billy's formidable body and then rips off his shirt, orally working his way down to Billy's cock. Kirk gives a wowing sun-drenched blowjob, tossing his head this way and that to get Billy hard and keep him there. Kirk then takes Billy to the compound with mysterious chambers about which Billy notes, "I don't know what they're for and I really don't care" for once Kirk continues his whiplash-inducing blowjob on Billy, nothing else really matters. Billy sparks into action, macking majorly with Kirk, who spends a lot more time sucking before romping into the scene's highlight, a whiz-bang rimming. Billy actually stands on his head to make things easy for Kirk. As Billy yodels in his customary style, Kirk gently licks his ass. As thanks, Billy fucks Kirk, but the short episode, shot mainly in close-up, is a bit forced and awkward. Billy jacks Kirk off and the scene ends.
Working a rather questionable haircut into the plot, Billy is tossed into a dungeon where he explains the goons have shaved his head as a mark that he belongs to Dr. Vixen. "If they touched me, they knew they'd be history," he assumes. As he wakes up out of his drugged stupor, he notices Dr. Vixen leaving his servants, the increasingly massive Jason Hawke, and Stephans regular, tight tattooed Gregg Rockwell, with some special elixir. This potion apparently makes one really horny, so both the guys take it and feed it to tied-up Dane Brando. Dane eagerly gets into the act, which finds the boys worshipping his chest and then he and Gregg splitting up Jason's hulking chest. Billy escapes as the boys go full tilt. Jason and Gregg's loincloths are slipped off (what did I tell you?) and Dane blows both of his captors. He has a rocking good time going back and forth, spending noticeably longer on Jason's curved pecker. Gregg pries his mouth off Jason's long enough to blow him as Dane takes residence on his cock and then Jason switches places with Gregg. Dane is then splayed across a table, blowing Jason, as Gregg pokes at his ass. He slips in easy as pie and fucks Dane zestfully. Nothing is held back and Dane takes him with rippling ass. Soon enough, he tells Jason to fuck him, obviously hypnotized by the potion and the men. Jason fucks him missionary, Dane's legs thrown over his massive heaving shoulders. Ever the champion fucker, Jason is quiet and stealthy, but mighty powerful and effective. All three get off nice full cum-shots.
Drew continues to read the note, but I'm not sure why Billy trashes the doctor for having an "obsession to watch his slaves have sex." Again, why is this bad? Oh, we learn at this point that Billy has a cellphone, but he conveniently can't dial out. "I must be out of range," he blankly notes to Drew as he's providing his phone number. So, Drew dials and actually gets Billy, who somehow has not only a signal, but a full head of hair again. Drew doesn't believe a word of Billy's story and the phone goes dead. "He's full of shit. This whole drama's full of shit ... I think," Drew mutters to himself.
Dr. Vixen, in the form of hairy masculine dark Damian Ford, here looking his best, seems real enough. Wearing nothing but a lab coat, he ushers a goateed Jay Ross into a doctor's chair and pours the stuff down his gullet. Things work quickly as Jay reaches for Damian's cock. It's a slow sensual blowjob and Jay has no problem taking every inch available, and there are a lot of them offered. Damian bends over him to double the blowing, deep-throating just as ably. These two pros are attentive and methodical, with the scene taking on an air of sensuality rather than bleating hardcore. Next to the lab is a convenient bedroom, replete with candles and color-coordinated windows and comforters. Damian leads Jay to the bed and then proceeds to dazzle him with more blowing and licking. Damian eats out of Jay's bubble-butt before plowing into him missionary-style. Little Jay's ass hasn't found a dick it can't take to the pubes, so all of Damian's deep plunges are taken fully. This fuck isn't about speed or anything other than their sensuality, and its crowning moments come when Damian tosses Jay into one position or another, always still inserted in Jay's ass! Jay spurts big while being fucked and then Damian counters with a biggie of his own.
Drew is still puzzled by the letter and redials the cellphone, again magically catching Billy. He explains to Billy that this whole story "sounds like something out of a movie or, you know, a porno flick" and asks for proof. Billy tells him of a lovely waterfall on the island and the phone goes out again. The plot gets a little murky here as Drew seems to fall into a trance within a trance within a trance (I swear). The point is, he starts to dream of Billy by that waterfall. Billy, who in this dream seems not to have seen a man in a year, attacks Drew as the lucky first. He kneels down for a blowjob that is incredibly eager, taking Drew entirely with a fidgety knowing head and a backless throat. Billy then appears in Drew's bedroom, which is a whole lot less fantastical, and wanders over to Drew, licking up his leg and settling back on the cock. Not forgetting to nibble the nuts a little, Billy truly impresses with his sucking. Quite honestly, I didn't know he had it in him. Drew takes a whirl on Billy and of course does his customary good work. Billy, who owns this scene to the point that the camera seems to forget Drew is around at times, dry-fucks Drew into a dither and then backtracks to rim Drew. It's teasing, with a finger inserted as well. Billy then fucks Drew, entering into him with a wonderful handless insertion. The fuck is throbbing and wild, with Billy full of total in-and-out shots and Drew bug-eyed at the pounding he's receiving. They fuck in every conceivable position, with Billy working as hard in an unlikely sideways position as he does when Drew is riding on top of him. The fucking in this scene is longer than any of the others, and is truly worthy of its length since both guys do such great work. Billy has a loud cum-shot and then he jacks Drew off onto his gorgeous chest.
Drew wakes up out of all his trances and calls Billy again. Billy, his head back to being shaved, doesn't answer. Damian does and dispenses with Drew, telling Billy "that was your last contact to the outside word." Billy doesn't care -- he's too busy sucking Damian's cock as the flick ends.
I can't imagine why anyone would want to base a porn flick on the dreadfully campy remake of "The Island of Dr. Moreau," but, then again, I should never count out director Thor Stephans, who takes on a lot of seemingly goofy ideas. Only he could turn something so dopey into a whole lot of sexual fun. Forget the plot gabs and the hysterical dialogue for a moment. What makes "Lost on Sex Island" click is the lost soul himself, Billy Brandt. Billy seems to do well with comedy, having a blast with this role, trotting around the island and its inhabitants with a lusty look in his eye and sex written all over his body. Whether playing with small Kirk Kelley or big Damian Ford, even for a moment, Billy has the same eagerness for the role. Reaching a climax in his scene with Drew Peters, he works as hard as any top-billed star should and reaps the benefits. And as for the rest, well, there's lots of fun to be had there as well. The whole thing is played for laughs when not inducing horniness, which is the only aim a plot this contrived should have. Crammed full of dependable performers, there isn't much chance that any of the sex here would be anything less than superb, and each scene lives up to that potential.
DVD extras include digital remastering, no regional coding (playable worldwide), trailers from other Pacific Sun releases, as well as a slide-show gallery.
A VHS + DVD Review by Brent Blue
A tropical island inhabited by naked hunks driven sex-crazy by the juice from an island plant? It could happen. The plot is secondary to the action here but provides some great excuses for the creative scenes. Cute Billy Brandt is caught in a storm while out fishing in his boat off Key West, and fortunately (for him and us) is shipwrecked on just such an island off the coast of Cuba. Billy's being stalked by one of those prowlers but has a chance to send a message in a bottle out to sea before Kirk Kelley catches him in the jungle. Kelley finds the ever-smooth Brandt as tasty as you would in the jungle but then leads him to a modern house on the island to indulge in some creative rimming with Billy standing on his head. Brandt then gives it to Kelley hard before jacking him to a noisy climax.
The island is owned by "Dr. Vixen" (Damien Ford), whose underlings, under the spell of the love potion, find young men to capture for his pleasure. Brandt is brought to a dungeon where Dane Brando is already strung up on a rack, but while stubble-faced Gregg Rockwell and smooth, muscled Jason Hawke have their way with Brando, Billy is able to escape. This is standard but stimulating three-way fare: Rockwell and Hawke make out while Brando services them, then take turns dicking him while Dr. Vixen watches on closed-circuit TV.
When they're all satisfied, goateed Jay Ross is brought naked to Dr. Vixen's examination room and given the magic potion. Disoriented, he naturally lies back to swallow the doc's cock. After a spirited 69 on the exam table, Ross gives it up to the good doctor in his (Ford's) bedroom. Ford tastes the rest of him - well, all the good parts - and fucks him silly in a variety of positions until they both splash some great puddles on Ross's abs.
In the meantime back on Key West, Drew Peters has picked up Brandt's message in a bottle, which conveniently includes Billy's cell phone number! When their call is disconnected, Peters lies back to fantasize about getting it on with Brandt under a waterfall and in his bed, where he rides Brandt's cock like a champ. Awakening to find it was all a dream, he calls back to find that Billy, now with a shaved head, belongs to Dr. Vixen.
It's not exactly sex on the beach, but that's what makes it satisfying. That the last two scenes end up in bedrooms with some passionate vanilla sex is actually refreshing and sexy. If you're a Brandt fan, don't miss this one.
- Lance Powers