Sometimes something gets lost in the translation. While the Brazilian pups in this feature are energetic, enthusiastic and, at times, boner-evoking the video itself is not.
I'm reminded of a time when I was on a serious diet. I had quit smoking and, well, you know about the whole weight-gain thing that happens. Anyway, one thing that I became very strict about was cheating. When I did digress and hit McDonald's for some french fries, I was of the mind that they had better be damn good. Don't bring me the shriveled up shitbombs that had been sitting there for an hour. If I was going to cheat, it was going to be worth it. What is the connection you ask? Cheating. Some of you are old enough to remember watching the fucking 8mm loop videos on the back of a video booth door and feeling like you were getting away with something. I am, and I did. It was a naughty pleasure, and we were at the mercy of whatever crap paper-boy/pizza delivery guy thing was flickering away on the filthy 'screen' that was often a wasteland of phone numbers, graffiti and dangling penis doodles. Things have changed. We deserve better.
Big Daddy constantly reminds me that when I'm writing for Gay Chicago Magazine (as opposed to AVN , for whom I also write) that everything is about consumers. This is not an industry magazine but a consumer paper. Consider your audience and blah, blah blah. Well, this review is written to the industry on behalf of you consumers. My message to "the industry?" Make it good. Don't waste my time. I'm grown up now and sophisticated I'm not getting away with anything and there is a lot of competition for my time nowa-days. When you industry folks put before me something like this tape, it is an insult. So straighten up. I vote with my dollar, and this thing isn't even a runner-up.
Was it awful you ask? No, just uninspired and schlocky. Yes, the Brazilian guys are my favorites, it's true. But in this case, the sleepy feature takes forever to get under way, then fizzles out quickly. Was it the guys? Nope. They were hot enough and poured their hearts into their work, likely to only get enough drug money for the evening. So what happened? Greed I suspect. In an effort to rush to market with another "me too" product, this production company created another mediocre tape in a sea of indifference.
Want to know every little detail and blow-by-blow of the tape? Rent it. But to waste time describing it here would only add insult to injury, the cheating of a different sort. Gay porn should not be about quantity, but quality. Enough already with the tonnage of crap that isn't worthy of the video tape that it has consumed. We deserve better.
- Burny Edmonds