This is the story of a ugly, big-boned girl named Edweina Simplestein (played by the ever-talented and fabulous Chi Chi LaRue) who uses witchcraft to get what she wants.
Let me just warn you now, Chi Chi steals every scene she's in. She's an absolute natural, and even with the hideous make-up and wig, she is still a beauty queen. Hands down, she is the best actor in this video, so be prepared to watch her sparkle.
It begins like any another day in the life of Edweina Simplestein. She wakes up just in time to be berated and ordered around by her mother's hunky boyfriend, played by Anthony Stone. Poor Edweina. She picks on her and makes fun of her, and now she's off to school for some more torment.
At school in Ms. Swallow's English class, played by Tina Tyler, Edweina gets into trouble. Not only is she punished, but the whole class is too, meaning they're going to miss the big game. As if that's not bad enough, some bullies trick her, make a paper plane out of her stationary and send it flying towards Ms. Swallow's desk. That stunt lands Edweina some detention.
Edweina reports for detention to Ms. Challenger, played by Sharon Kane, a scary, dyke-looking gym teacher with a butch haircut and way too much collagen in her lips. Surprisingly enough, Edweina isn't at all scared by her like I was.
Meanwhile, Ms. Swallow is beginning one of her special training sessions with two boys, played by Marcus Caine and Drew Andrews. Apparently, it's a lesson in anatomy, not English. Ms. Swallow sucks both boys and then gets fucked by both of them.
Back at the gym Edweina is exercising under the command of Ms. Challenger and doesn't seem to be doing so well. Out of frustration and desperation, Ms. Challenger runs to the wrestling coach, played by Ricky Starr, to bitch about poor Edweina. Meanwhile, Edweina sits alone in the corner of the gym until two wrestlers, played by Rick Mathews and Andrew Lennox, see her alone and helpless and begin to taunt her. Lennox pulls his teammate's pants down and proceeds to tease and horrify Edweina with Mathews' anus.
Edweina can't take any more of the teasing, but when she screams "fuck off!" Ms. Challenger thinks that it's directed at her and smacks her across the face. A small bitch fight later, and they are separated. That was the last straw for Edweina; now it's payback time.
Back at the locker room, the two players talk and admit to each other that they sort of like touching one another. This, of course, leads into the next sex scene, which is also the best on this video. The two men ravage each other, licking and sucking each other's bodies until Lennox finally tops Mathews in this great pairing.
Back at Edweina's house, she is preforming some kind of witchcraft. She's chanting that she wants to be pretty, but nothing seems to happen. She screams, she cries, then she jumps in bed and sometime later rises up a beautiful blonde with fake boobs and braces (Edweina 2, played by Cassandra Knight). Edweina can't believe it. She's beautiful and thin. The witchcraft worked.
The real test is when Edweina's mother's boyfriend comes in and finds the pretty Edweina and doesn't recognize her. He, being the pig that he is, hits on her and ends up having sex with her. After he cums, Edweina turns back into herself and scares the hell out of him. A little voodoo here, and he drops to the floor dead.
Edweina and her newfound power waste no time. She heads over to the school and tracks down that bitchy Ms. Swallow. She finds her alone in the classroom and surprises her, in more ways then one. Let's just say that Ms. Swallow died swallowing.
Next on Edweina's hit list is that horrible and ugly gym teacher, Ms. Challenger. However, she's getting it on with the wrestling coach and the janitor (played by Scott Davis) in the locker room. Both men take turns fucking her and having her wrap her heavy lips on their cocks. It's not really a pretty sight.
Meanwhile, Edweina finds the two wrestling bullies in the hallway. As usual, they take one look at her and start to insult her. Before they know what's happening, she turns around, hikes up her skirt and releases one hell of a fart. A deadly one. That's two more down.
So where is Ms. Challenger? Edweina finds her and tortures her. She takes away her strength, her beauty (although that's a stretch) and her perky fake boobs. All Edweina has left to say to her is, "Rot in hell bitch!' With almost everyone dead, Edweina has only one more spell to cast, she wants the coach to take her home and make lover to her, which he does.
I love happy endings.
- Ricki Martinez