I will never look at a pommel horse the same way again. I do know that if gym class was even remotely like the shenanigans in "Sex Gym," I might not have flunked gym my freshmen year. As far as the setting, authentic is the word. Filmed on a sunlit basketball court, you can almost smell the years of old sweat leaking from the mats on the lacquered wooden floor. The opening perfectly captures the echo-like atmosphere of a real gym, the shouts and catcalls of the European models interspersed with the smacks of basketballs being bounced.
The cast, training for a gymnastic event, are fairly uniform in their appearance. That's one of the things I like about films coming from this part of the world, the director feels no compulsion to hire cookie-cut circuit boys. Instead, the models are lean, ripped and handsome instead of gorgeous, and seemingly attitude-free. Add one gruff-looking coach, Waller, and you've got the stuff of my high-school wet dreams.
Florian is not only new to the team, but he's running late to his first practice. The other athletes are already in full-swing, jumping rope, doing push-ups and sit-ups and putting their jockstraps into full twist. And from the pissed-off expression on Waller's grumpy mug, Florian picked the wrong day to fuck up. Florian's lackluster performance in the gymnasium puts Waller over the edge. Tooting his whistle, he signals for his assistant, Marcel Le Grand, to escort young Florian into the locker room, leaving the other athletes under the supervision of a fellow teammate. The action now switches between Florian's "punishment" and the other gymnasts' "training." Crusty coach Waller starts by squirting a hearty dollop of shaving cream into his palm while Marcel pins Florian's arms. Seems as if a close shave is in order, a very close shave. Lacking any barber's flair, Waller makes short work of it, taking long, forceful swipes with the razor, barely avoiding some serious slicing of Florian's cock and balls. Shaving Florian's asshole is also done slapdash, surely giving the pup a case of razor burn he'll remember for weeks to come.
No surprise that when the cat is away ... well, you get the idea. A full-blown orgy has started in the gym, guys swapping blowjobs on the parallel bars, rimming ass underneath the basketball hoop, and, yes, seriously working out on the pommel horse. Cocks are uncut and generally delicious, some more than others. The models are identified by character name only, so you're out of luck if you find a personal favorite and want to follow his career. And since the models generally start and end in a pile of sweaty sex, it doesn't seem to matter much. I found myself drooling over one particular bloke who slides to the floor, peeling off his buddy's gym shorts and uncovering a prize. While the guy getting head was nothing the sneeze at, the one doing the sucking had the real beauty of a cock, uncut, fat and oozing goo. His hog was hard as steel from the moment he released it from his strap. The camera, mere inches from this cock, caught every nasty vein and fold of skin while the model held it at the base.
Back in the locker room, Waller and assistant Marcel has tossed aside the Schick and have rolled on some Trojans. Florian, his cock now looking smooth and shiny sans fur, doesn't bat an eye when he's bent over a desk and fucked. Marcel pounds him mercilessly (the camera perched over his shoulder and meaty pecs). The sound of Marcel's hips loudly smacking against the flesh of Florian's ass inspires Waller, so much so that he pulls out his prick, circled by a thick silver cockring, and shoves it in Florian's watering mouth.
Back in the gym, the routine being performed on the parallel bars would surly have the judges rethinking their scoring system. I've seen gay porn acrobatics in the past, but nothing quite like this. This three-way eventually ends up on one of those big blue padded mats, the very same padded mats on that I struggled to learn wrestling holds at 13. The studs in this segment make much better use of the mat, straddling one another and eventually enjoying a little bit of butt-fucking. The guy getting fucked on his back not only is pleasured by a big uncut dick sliding into his guts, but one of his teammates sits and hovers over his face, forcing a salty rimjob. Florian is now having an odd sex toy worked into his hole, an object that bears a strong resemblance to a long wooden spoon. The spoon's end is bulbous, stretching his asshole to uncomfortable, at least for me, proportions. Waller spends long moments slowly working the toy, teasing Florian's ass muscle. Having a big wooden spoon up your ass can make even the fattest cock seem manageable, even Waller's. Waller finally dominates Florian, topping him forcefully while Marcel jerks off and cums on Florian's neck.
Coach escorts Florian to the showers, where he crumples into a soggy heap. The coach-player fantasy seduction scenario deflates a bit here when it's clear that Florian didn't care much for the coach's ministrations. One of his teammates, who moments before was out riding dick on the parallel bars, comes to the rescue. And although sex is probably the last thing Florian needs to soothe his nerves, the pair ends up making love. At least here, Florian gets to top, lying passive while his buddy straddles his waist and fucks himself.
Another assistant coach confronts Waller about his training methods. Things take a downturn for the coach when the team decides to take some retribution. But of course, an all-out orgy (you guessed it, the pommel horse is the centerpiece) is hardly the best way to get a little revenge. The group sex segment of "Sex Gym" is only the last 12 minutes or so of the film, but it is indeed the best 12 minutes. The pace is fast and furious. You have to search in the jumble of arms and legs for any one model, but half the fun is rewinding and viewing again to see just who does what to whom.
The cum-shots throughout are remarkable, the men range in age, and the setting sent this viewer back to gym class. And one of the sexiest things, if and when teams are chosen, there's no need to split the pack into shirts and skins, just get them naked. I bet even I could get an "A" in this gym class.
DVD features: Chapters; widescreen; gallery; trailers ("Anal Pick-Up," "Hard Games" and "Night Lair"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Rick Forrent