Okay, I give up. I won?t spend any more time trying to figure out all the aliases in this Hungarian fuck festival. I?m positive of all of the ones above except for Robert (Stefan Stano), only because I couldn?t quite place the tattoo. But, you won?t be looking at body art in ?Euro Tools? -- you?ll be looking at body parts.
I loved this flick, simple and dumb as it is, because it?s filled with gorgeous, hard, horny men who do nothing but fuck and suck. And they do it so well that you are almost, but not quite, likely to forget that the first and last scenes feature the major Hungarian trade star of the 1990s, Viktor, with the cream on the top being his partner in the finale, Ivan. Those two were featured in the opening scene of ?Uncut? (Huge International) which remains one of the two or three most romantic scenes in Hungarian porn. In ?Euro Tools,? they throw romance aside for a round-the-horn fuck session that has to be seen to be believed.
Viktor is cast as foreman of a construction site. There?s a blueprint on the wall of his office. Beautiful Ivan walks in, naked beneath his coveralls, and Viktor starts explaining the layout of the blueprint to him. He points to a room, the scene switches to that room, in which Viktor is supervising narrow faced and narrow bodied blonde cutie Ritchie, while sultry, Hollywood actor Harry Hamlin look-alike Andras looks on. Viktor grabs Ritchie and they start to kiss, and before long the young blond is on his knees servicing his boss. Andras whips his cock out as he watches them, and soon moves toward them. Cut to Ritchie sucking Andras? massive schlong while Viktor holds one of Ritchie?s legs up while fucking him doggie-style. It?s an interesting position, and very comfortable for all, apparently. Then Ritchie sits on that massive tool as he goes to work on Viktor?s pole once again before Andras takes the top role in a 69 with Ritchie and Viktor slams Andras? butt doggie-style, and that fucking continues as Andras gets up, stays bent over in a sex sandwich between Viktor and Ritchie. The close-ups here of cocks going into holes and mouths are fabulous, and there is the usual high decibel moan level. The two workers then take turns slobbering all over Viktor?s thick, long, beautiful cock before Viktor shoots his usual gob of goo between their faces, mostly on Andras? cheeks. The scene closes with Andras pulling his truly exceptional pud to a splattering climax, with kisses all around.
Back to the blueprint routine. Viktor points to the locker room, and the scene opens with Richard, a swarthy, crew-cut post-twink, pulling his cock through his red coveralls lying on a cot while looking at a gay porn magazine. Renato, a dead-ringer for actor Antonio Banderas with some blond streaks in his hair, comes in, strips down and starts to wipe himself with a towel. Richard starts to cruise Renato, and soon gets up, rubs his butt, and the two start to kiss. These two resemble American early 20s types more than Hungarian bulk monsters, and they are terrific together. Richard drops to his knees and gives great head before Renato moves him over to the cot for a serious 69 session and then throws Richard?s legs up and dives into his hole -- tongue first. Great camera-work here as Renato tongues Richard?s hairy hole, then wets his finger and sticks it up there as he sucks Richard?s cock. Another finger goes up and Renato increases his sucking rhythm -- it?s a lot more natural than you usually see in some of these imported flicks.
Renato fucks Richard doggie-style on the cot, then Richard sits on his buddy?s pole for a sensational sit-fuck ride which looks at times like it?s filmed almost from the inside of Richard?s hole. Then comes the first flip-flop of the movie as Richard enters Renato?s butt doggie-style and pounds away before flipping him over for a fully extended, over-the-shoulder missionary-fuck which lasts a long, loving, time. The camera stays overhead throughout, swirling around the lovers as they beat in rhythm with each other?s passion. It?s a scene which you would not expect to be as hot as it turns out to be, and judging from the oodles of cum spewed by both boys all over Renato, they were not faking anything.
Our next room contains one of Hungary?s great butch bottoms, Attila, who is tossing bags of sand with an incredibly beautiful butch blond named Laszlo (whom I?m sure goes under another name, but can?t figure it out -- might be Nikolas Kiss; he also resembles Czech star Jirka Kavloda a.k.a. Ales Hanek). This is down and dirty from the start -- Attila is on a ledge, takes a bag from Lazslo, and then motions the jock to come over. They kiss, and kiss some more. Then Laszlo opens Attila?s pants and chews on his cock -- it?s a great scene with the butch jock chomping away, bringing Attila to full erection. He strips his buddy?s pants off, leaving him in his boots and throws his legs wide and dives into his ass with his mouth and tongues him to ecstasy, then goes back to work on Attila?s cock, balls and hole, still in his coveralls. But not for long. They kiss long and Attila pulls his coveralls and briefs down, exposing a long, skinny, hard cock which Attila takes eagerly. Then comes a great segue -- on his back, Attila beckons Lazslo to come fuck him. This is what we expect -- this man is in competition with Alexei Gromoff to claim the prize as the quintessential Hungarian bottom, and his moans of pure pleasure, both on his back and when Lazslo puts him up doggie style over the barrel, are not faked.
What?s also not faked is the next surprise -- Lazslo sitting on Attila?s tool, rocking up and down in pure pleasure, doggie-style, then switching around, still in the sit-fuck, the face Attila while the latter does all the work. This evolves into a scissor-fuck, in which Attila grabs Lazslo?s stiff rod and jerks him off -- but not getting him to climax, because there?s more. Lazslo winds up on top of Attila in a torrid 69 before resuming the kneeling position to bring Lazslo off in real heavy globs all over Attila?s neck and shoulder. Attila lets his modest load spew on the floor, and the two kiss to conclude the most surprising, and hottest, scene in the flick.
The next room pointed out on the blueprint has four guys shoveling sand into a dump truck: Ritchie from the first scene, Peter (who looks like Czech star Pavel Korsakov) Kristian (a lanky matinee idol type brunette, and Robert, who is a hot blond halfback type with that tattoo I mentioned at the top of the review. They fuck around, and the other three grab Peter, force him to his knees, and he starts sucking Ritchie and Kristian. Meanwhile, Robert sneaks up behind and sticks his cock up Peter?s ass. Then it?s Kristian?s turn to fuck Peter as the latter sucks Robert, then Ritchie. Peter then sits on Kristian?s cock as Robert grabs Ritchie and doggie-fucks him. Then the two tops switch bottoms, Kristian scissor-fucking Ritchie and Robert doing the dog with Peter.
Then Ritchie sucks both Kristian and the much shorter Robert as Peter curls up on his back beneath Kristian waiting for a cock to penetrate him -- it will be Kristian?s, who plugs Peter backwards as trade Robert allows Ritchie to continue to suck his cock. Peter, however, gets some fun of his own as Kristian pulls out, and Ritchie sits on Peter?s cock while continuing to service Kristian. Everybody eventually cums on Ritchie.
Finally, Viktor is ready to let Ivan go off on his own with the blueprints, but not until he leans back in his club chair and starts flirting with Ivan by rubbing his massive cock beneath his coveralls. Ivan, who is so cute that he can look na?ve (he?s been chewing gum throughout) while also playfully seducing you with his eyes, begins to get the idea, and starts removing his coveralls. He sticks his hand into his crotch as Viktor whips out his massive monster and starts to beckon Ivan with his eyes. There are great close-ups of Viktor?s foreskin being pulled up and over his bulging head, with Ivan -- who can also look dense at times -- wondering, ?Jeez, should I go over and suck that fucker, or what?? He gets the ?or what? out of the way fast, moves over to kneel before his boss, and takes the cock in his fist and sticks it in his mouth. This is a big cock being sucked typical Eastern European-style -- down below the head and that?s it. But, Ivan makes it look tasty, indeed, and Viktor is writhing in pure pleasure. Wonderful camera angles convey the beauty of both men -- they are truly a pair! -- until Viktor lifts Ivan up, and they kiss. It?s not a long kiss, but it?s loving, and then Viktor, the best fucker in the land, does his thing.
He bends Ivan over the desk and fucks him doggie. He turns Ivan on his back on the desk, spreads his legs and fucks him missionary. He moves Ivan to the club chair and holds both legs together and fucks him missionary, then spreads the legs and continues. (The camera catches the essence here -- Viktor is a fucking machine and Ivan has one of the biggest, beautiful fucking fuck-asses in the world!) Viktor puts Ivan on the table and fucks him scissor-style, then lays on the office floor and thrusts his massive tool upward in fast jabs into Ivan in a sit-fuck. Then Ivan spins around on the cock and faces Viktor as he?s being fucked, turning his head back every once in a while to watch that cock go straight up his beautiful hole. The scene isn?t over till it?s over, and this one ends spectacularly -- Viktor sitting on the table, Ivan jerking him off while sucking and kissing and licking the head of Viktor?s cock until Viktor takes his own matter into his own hand and spills out a ton of seed as Ivan licks and nuzzles his balls and crotch hair, cumming himself in a bit of an understated explosion. They kiss, and you can be sure, the kid?s got the job.
I missed this one when it came out on videotape, and truth to tell, there are very few fancy doo-dads on the DVD version -- just a gallery (without the actors identified) and a scene breakdown. But the quality of the camera-work, the direction, the sound (which is not sound effects, believe me), and the sensuality all add up to a smashing sexual romp through a warehouse somewhere in Hungary. Book me to Budapest, Buddy!
A DVD Review by Bo Champion