Slap Happy is the debut flick for director Steven Walker's brand-spanking-new Global Warming imprint for Channel 1 Releasing. And the boner-fide sultan of swat is determined to make a good impression with his latest feature. As the opening credits roll, we're treated to images and sounds of butt cheeks and cracks getting slapped, smacked and whacked. There's no question about what we can expect from the rest of the film's 90-minute running time.
Each of the flick's three segments are identified by a title, and the set-up dialogue is kept to a bare minimum. The first scene, "Latin Hook Up," features devilish Enrico Vega and eager slutpuppy Brandon James. It's a prime example of Walker's waste-no-time style. James calls hustler Vega and lets him know, right up front, "I want you to spank me." The box cover photos of Vega, with belt in hand, and James, with his beefy rump reddened, are quickly brought to flesh-and-blush life.
Walking-wet-dream Vega appreciates James' flexibility and puts him through his paces in a variety of positions. An especially hot moment has Vega sitting on a sofa with James straddling his face while Vega continues to leave hand prints on James' meaty globes. There are plenty of very vocal expressions of pleasure, and Walker gives us a few close-ups of Vega's skin-on stunner that will have uncut fans spanking their monkeys. The Latino stud slams both sets of nasty boy James' lips. Then, he yanks his crank and grunts out a huge load on James' face while his throbbing cockhead is still nearly covered with his foreskin.
"Cyber Spank," the second segment, could have been a strong scene but doesn't live up to its potential. Casey Williams and Troy Banner, both of whom should know better, seem to be e-mailing in their performances.
Tommy Saxx and Chris Sullivan play buddies in the final vignette, "The Stepbrother." Logan Reed is the older pseudo-sibling to Saxx. Sullivan and Saxx are looking at nude photos of Reed when he walks in on them and invokes fraternal paddling privilege. He takes a rolled up magazine to Saxx and Sullivan's asses like they were puppies who'd pissed on the floor.
The spanking develops into a three-way suck-and-fuck, with Saxx bottoming for the bigger-dicked Sullivan and Reed. Furry Sullivan is a passable top with a big schlong, but his best work is in films where he's on the bottom and begging for a banging. Maybe he needed his flank spanked, in the final moments, to coax out his cumload a little quicker. That way, Sullivan could have joined Reed and Saxx's intense back-to-back load launches without the anticlimactic long pause before he shot his spunk. Of course, that delay could have been fixed with more skillful post-production. So maybe editor Scott Coblio is who deserves a little over-the-knee reprimand.
I had high hopes for Walker's new feature and Global Warming debut. While a few parts miss the mark, he's slapped together a good effort, overall. There are definitely moments that will have spanking fetishists and more mainstream men taking out their cocky corporals for some punishment. Happy slapping!
- Rod Pierce