Before "French Farmers," I'd never even heard of German photographer Wilhelm von Gloeden ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilhelm_von_Gloeden ), the gentleman who inspired this effort. As it turns out, snapping naked pictures of sexy Sicilian cherubs is what made von Gloeden famous, and it's remarkable how well director Jean-Marc Prouveur captures the essence of von Gloeden's sumptuous photographs. And with its decidedly arty touches, this production wavers back and forth between porn and art film, and it certainly doesn't follow a conventional trajectory, taking some time before we're treated to hardcore sex. But the subtle journey to the sex is a pleasant one. There are plenty of picturesque vistas of the French countryside and plenty of period props and clothing to lend authenticity. We are sent back to 1919, and then back further still to 1885 where von Gloeden (played by director Jean-Marc Proveur) is cruising the countryside in search of his next models. He needn't look far.
He quickly spots two farmhands, Ivo Costa and Matheus Rocha. He rather boldly (and who knows if von Gloeden actually selected his models this way), sneaks peeks at the goods while the young men are taking a piss, going so far as to provocatively fondle them. He then spirits them away to his studio, dresses them in strips of silky gauze and starts cranking out the photos. It's then that the timelines here seemed to go out of whack (we're now told it's 1892). Ivo and Matheus, suddenly back their regular farmer's bibbed overalls, are having very 21st Century-style sex on the same casting couch where Proveur as von Gloeden was photographing them four years earlier. Huh?
I decided at this point to ignore "French Farmers" as history lesson and focus on the cocksucking and rimming. Both Ivo and Matheus have classic French looks -- olive skin, dark hair, pouty expressions, smooth bodies, uncut cocks. The rimming looks particularly tasty, Matheus enjoying the lion's share of the anal attention. Still wearing his jaunty beret, Matheus hops on top of Ivo and fucks himself silly. Who knows where these lads are picking up their condoms, as the nearest 7-Eleven is obviously not around the next haystack. But it's a minor point, one that I had quickly forgotten as Ivo unloaded close to a quarter cup of cum onto his flat belly. This is certainly one of the healthiest cum-shots I've seen in some time. And just as Ivo's cranking out the last vestiges of spooge, church bells start chiming in the distance. It's very "Sound of Music."
It's 1894, and two more sexy pups, Jean-Paul Guerin and Gaston Pourcin, dressed as Greek servant boys, are making out in von Gloeden's studio. Their tender touches are filmed through a thin sheen of Vaseline, somewhat reminiscent of a David LaChapelle photograph ( http://DavidLaChapelle.com ). Huge sprigs of baby's breath float like halos above Gaston and Jean-Paul's head before it's plucked and used to tickle balls and exposed holes. They never fuck as their encounter is really more about sensuality than animal sex. This is definitely the most interesting part of this flick, director Proveur taking great inspiration from actual photographs.
After two mildly interesting solos, Jean-Paul Chevalier and Simon de Jesus, we're jettisoned back to the French countryside. Ivo and Matheus seduce a tall and lanky Jason Ace, the three men finding a place to fuck inside a barn. There are moments while the guys are having sex that you'd swear you were watching a silent film. All three guys keep strangely quiet, so much so that the only sounds are the rustlings of hay and the occasional slap of skin on skin. What's also slightly odd is that Jason is noticeably vacant the entire time Ivo is pumping away. After Ivo's dumped and left, Jason heads indoors where Fred Faurtin is slowly masturbating by the cobblestone fireplace. And rather than pop Fred's lovely piece into his mouth, he simply rests his dusty head on Fred's hip, staring at his cock much like a dreamy schoolgirl might stare at a Jason Timberlake poster on her bedroom wall.
Things seem to get back on track with Jeremy Spike and Nicolas Becart fuckin' around while von Gloeden peeks through his camera lens. They start by swapping blowjobs, tossing pieces of clothing aside as they're no longer needed. Completely nude, their smooth torsos and thighs are smeared with dirt. Despite the streaky smudges, Nicholas looks particularly good, blessed with both a sexy prick and an unspoiled asshole. Blond Jeremy takes notice and gets Nick's hole soakin' wet with spit, von Gloeden popping back out from under his black muslin to monitor their progress. Nicolas eventually rides Jeremy in the exact same position that Matheus rode Ivo, only I found Nicolas' ass to be much hotter.
Igor George and buddy Antoine Romero casually alternate between a game of nude bridge, foot worship, cocksucking, before finding their way back to their card game. What first appears to be an odd succession of activities turns out to be a predecessor to the modern fluffing session, the boys helping each other out while von Gloeden does his work. The final scene is a four-way back in the barn where the star photographer is strangely absent. It's the most traditional scene throughout, and includes some of the film's best close-ups of cock, balls and ass. Fred Faurtin is the lead player, his sturdy prick beautifully forcing its way out of his trousers and into focus.
I wasn't a huge fan of the Renaissance-style piccolo pipings tooting underneath much of "French Farmers," and at times the film feels overly experimental. But the boys are lovely, photographed in such a way as to pay great tribute to Wilhelm von Gloeden and his early homoerotic snapshots.
DVD features: Chapters; cum-shots chapter; gallery; trailers ("Polish Pleasures," "Porn Zone," "Spanish Fever," "Confessions" and "Legionnaires"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Rick Forrent