"If a bomb drops on this place tonight, gay porno as we know it will be wiped out."
What inimitable porn director/diva extraordinaire Chi Chi LaRue is talking about is her birthday bash and its inhabitants on a brisk Saturday evening in October, the night that the city of Los Angeles sent their finest police force and their finest fire department officials out en masse to "shut 'er down."
Now, since we all at Gay Chicago attended the party, it became difficult to see who would be the lucky reviewer of the video. Since yours truly has the misfortune of appearing in it not once but twice (mercifully briefly for all of you whacking off in the dark out there), the lucky honor fell to me. The others were smart enough to stay away from the cameras.
Basically, this video isn't so much a hard-core plot-driven flick as it is a documentary - or a cock-u-mentary (depends on how graphic you want to get.) Chi Chi introduces each segment, looking fabulous as always (how she can walk in those outfits is beyond me, let alone the heels.) Throughout the vid, her assistant, Chris Green, talks to porn stars, and they all wish our hostess happy birthdays and show their penises and mock fuck for the camera. (Green is particularly annoying. He can't quite decide if he wants to be in front of the camera or behind or what.) In fact, this is the only time I have seen Spike without a hard-on.
The first scene introduced is a solo scene with Thomas Lloyd. He's a handsome, hairy man who smacks his penis and spooges on the bedspread. The second scene is a little more dramatic: Sexy "everyman" Brian Kimble is stroking himself on a spider web made of chain link. Along comes hunky daddy Mason Flynt, who throws a powerful but all too brief fuck into the man.
Spike and Scott Lyons have a sizzling oral encounter, both boys trying their damnedest to deep throat the other's rods. And, I might add, both guys look terrific together. Next, we get a brief fuck of Kimble in a sling by another daddy-man, Thom Southern. Once Southern pumps the cum out of Kimble, he and buddy Jens Hammer kick Kimble out and throw young Zach Richards into the sling. Richards is then mercilessly fucked by both daddies, creating quite an incredible scene. Richards face is a mixture of ecstasy and agony as he's impaled.
The final scene has adorable French boy David Pierre sucking on beautiful Matt Bradshaw's cock. (Bradshaw goes in and out of retirement. and, I'm sorry, but I never get tired of seeing that man have sex.) Pierre is in agreement because he practically begged Chi Chi (in Chi Chi's words) to let him get fucked by Bradshaw. Taking pity on the cute foreigner, LaRue gives Pierre his wish. It's a great scene. In fact, all the scenes are good, but they start slowly and build in intensity so that by the time the video ends, so will the viewer. Hardbody is famous for its video previews as well, allowing folks to see sneak peeks of other companies works. Odyssey's Technical Ecstasy, directed by Wash West, is included as well as Falcon's Australian epic, Lucas Kazan's Desire, filmed entirely in Italy, and the incredible Final Link from All Worlds. It's nice to see everyone getting along. It's a fun video that plays like a Where's Waldo? of porn. "Where's Chi Chi?"
As stated, the guest list was quite impressive: Ken Ryker, Mickey Skee, Christopher Scott, Vince Rockland, Colby Taylor, Kurt Young, Dylan Reece; and that's only the icing on the birthday cake. It's a birthday bash that is only to be expected from the Queen of Porn. How in the world can she top it next year?
- Jeremy Spencer