If you'd rather hear about a gag line instead of a gag reflex, have I got a video for you. Dirty Hairy is the gay erotic equivalent of Naked Gun , just not as funny but a whole lot sexier. There are sight gags, goofy jokes and actors mugging at the camera in between (and sometimes during) some hot sex scenes of somewhat hairy men going at it. The best thing about this video is that it brings back fledgling porn star Thomas Lloyd. Midwest schoolteacher-turned-porn actor/model; Lloyd hasn't been seen much since he stole the show in Animus. Still lean, hairy and hung, he plays Dick Bronski, a private detective hot on the trail of the notorious blackmailer, Dirty Hairy.
In the first scene, Senator Throbheart is in bed with two male Latin lovers. The three-way action gets hot and heavy. So heavy, in fact, that the men don't notice an unseen Hairy thrusting a camcorder and boom mike over the bed as they thrust into each other. Later, the senator goes to Det. Bronski's office asking for help in finding his blackmailer, Dirty Hairy. A hilarious conversation takes place between the two and Bronski's office assistant, Cub. After the senator leaves, Bronski and Cub go at it, taking turns blowing each other. The sex scene is good but lacks passion. Cub interrupts being rimmed by Bronski with a lame joke about his aunt that ruins the mood.
Cub does much better in the next scene, going undercover at a local gym in hopes of finding Dirty Hairy. What he finds instead is dark-haired body-builder Sebastian. After some very funny flirting, Cub is on his knees, sucking the gym rat's fat cock. The action moves to a weight bench where Sebastian fucks Cub but has some trouble keeping his "muscle" pumped. It still results in a hot fuck, but poor Cub finds out his undercover work was a bust - Sebastian is not Dirty Hairy. Jokes before and after the sex keep this scene hot but still humorous.
Wearing nothing but a trench coat, Detective Bronski does some of his own legwork in the next scene. He stumbles across a gagged and tied-up man, assuming it is a kidnapped senator. Before Bronski can free him, his captor, Dirty Hairy, appears, played by the very hairy, very humpy Austin Masters. Masters looks great in his leather pants and harness, showing off his big furry pecs. Hairy and Bronski play a humorous game of "he can suck my dick better than yours," stuffing their rods down the tied-up senator's throat. Not satisfied, both men take turns on the senator's butt, snarling at each other as they try to outfuck each other. It's a cute premise that pays off with some very hot anal action. After everyone cums, Bronski is ready to take Hairy into custody but is surprised to find out Masters is not Dirty Hairy and his friend is not a senator. They are just two guys who like to dress up and have fun - they thought Bronski was the UPS driver they met on an Internet chat room! Does Detective Bronski finally catch Dirty Hairy? Yes, but I'll let you watch to find out who it is.
The film is clever at times but relies too heavily on plot and not enough on hot sex. I would prefer the jokes to come before and after the action, not in the middle of it. In a few instances, it ruins the mood. Still, I give the film a lot of credit for trying something different in a tough genre. Sometimes its nice to have your funny bone tickled at the same time as your other bone.
- Ryan Williams