This flick ably represents the Three P's: porn, politics and parody. It's a funny account of one of our nation's darkest moments. No, not the Monica Lewinsky scandal (as many Republicans would have you believe), but the "selection" of George W. Bush as the 43rd president of the United States. "The Florida Erection: No One Likes Bush" (2000) does a bang-up job of telling a fictionalized account of what (and who) went "down" in Florida.
Our history lesson begins with brunet boy-next-door Dillon Pierce, an election ballot truck driver, being pulled over by policeman -- or Jeb Gush operative? -- mustachioed Latino Enrico Vega. Vega demands that Dillon show him his cargo and then demands a blowjob as well. On his knees, Dillon gives "one for the Gipper" and hungrily chows down on Vega's thick piece. Vega, not to be outdone by a Democrat, gives Dillon's cock and asshole a good licking before shoving a nightstick up Dillon's hole. Dillon heaves his glorious ass up and down on the black stick before pumping a load of cum onto the stacks of ballots in the back of the van, and then Vega splatters the ballots with gobs of goo, too.
The "cum-drenched ballots" become the "chad problem" of the real election, so tall and handsome Lance Landers and pretty-boy Brandon James discuss how the disputed ballots cannot be counted given their stickiness (some of the punch holes are partially or fully blocked by cum). They quickly decide that they would rather suck cock than figure out what to do with the ballots. Brandon drops to his knees to reveal Lance's enormous penis. It's an impressive slab of meat with a big head, and Brandon does a good job of handling the monster. Lance then chomps down on Brandon's pretty dick. Lance then bends Brandon over a big table to shove that big cock of his into his fellow American's butt. That position progresses to missionary, and then finally to a rousing sit-fuck as Brandon cums a nice load followed by a big gusher from Lance.
During a press conference, Drag Queen Harris announces George Gush the victor. Later, in Governor Jeb Gush's office, Drag Queen Harris sings "The Star Spangled Banner" as Jeb Gush (Anthony Cox) jerks his big cock to climax. His creamy load lands on her face (she's crouched down in front of him) smudging her pancake make-up. One of the funniest moments (certainly not what Francis Scott Key had in mind).
The next scene depicts the hand-counting ballot process made infamous by CNN and MSNBC during the "Battle for the White House." Tuck Johnson is the Democratic observer, Ryan Chandler is the Republican observer and Tanner Hayes is the "Seminal" county election office worker. The three men get into a dispute over whether a vote should be for Gush or Bore and decide to resolve the matter with cocksucking and butt-fucking. They all trade blows, and then Ryan rims Tanner, then Tuck rims Tanner, then Ryan fucks Tanner doggy on a ballot table, then Tuck fucks Tanner missionary before all three, in a circle-jerk, dump their loads and share a three-way kiss to end the scene (but not the ballot problem). During a phone call, Judge McAllister (Jason Nichols) explains to Jeb Bush that he will take care of the ballot problem. He hangs up and decides to jerk off.
The big finale is a scene with Al Bore and George Gush in a game of Whose Dick Is Bigger? Well, heavy-hung Rick Ritter wins that one easily and so Kaleb Hayes plops down on his knees to pledge his allegiance to the flagpole. Rick Ritter is a very muscular young man who looks like the quintessential college football player, and Kaleb honestly looks like a young version of George W. Bush. Kaleb slurps away at Rick's cock in various positions and then rims his hairy asscrack atop a big conference table. Rick then gives Kaleb a very wet and sloppy blowjob before fucking him in various positions, all with great enthusiasm and patriotism. Rick and Kaleb both toss out presidential money-shots.
"The Florida Erection" is a sexy flick with lots of laughs, twenty-something models, and, most importantly, lots of hot sex. And the production values, sets, costumes and dialogue are above average. Generally speaking, porn parodies are slapdash efforts with little effort beyond the box cover, but "The Florida Erection" goes above and beyond to show porn and politics as cozy bedfellows.
DVD features: Chapters; gallery; and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD: Review by Butch Harris