When last we saw them, the gang of Rangers in the idyllic forest were trying to figure out strange events. Charlie Harding was sent to find them, but the movie opens with a naked Charlie putting on his clothes with a bizarre look on his face. Why? He returns to his station, where he finds his boss, Trenton Ducati, also naked and thinking he had a wild dream. Campers Landon Conrad and Kyle King are looking for a tent to rent, but a brittle Jessy Ares tells them there is something very wrong.
How they fit into the plot, I have no idea, but thank goodness they are. "They" would be Jesse Santana and D.O., a pairing sent by the porn gods! Up against a tree, the two are making out. D.O. is the very vision of perfection, with his classic features and body sculpted as well as any diamond. Jesse, inked, pierced and always ready, even comes with a hole in his shorts so D.O. can immediately start eating Jesse's mouthwatering ass. It's rare, but when the perfect ass and the perfect face combine, your heart may skip a few beats. Jesse's hole is left a bit hairy, so D.O.'s spitting turns the whole area into what looks like the tastiest in all of these woods. D.O. is given a luxuriously long time to prep Jesse's hole, which tends to be ready anyway. Jesse has a blast blowing D.O., stretching his mouth all the way to deep-throat. In a saga full of hot guys with hot talents, Jesse gives the best blowjob of all, never flinching when D.O. face-fucks him hard. This scene is certainly an oral lover's wet dream, but we're certainly not going to skip the anal! D.O., still using that convenient hole in Jesse's shorts, pounds the hell out of Jesse and every roar, moan and plea makes D.O. work him harder and deeper. The camerawork from underneath shows off best just how utterly dominating D.O. is, with never a let-up in his energy level. Luckily, there is a tree stump a few feet away, so Jesse can lie back. D.O. returns to rimming, and steals the best second of the movie when he gently kisses Jesse's pushed-out hole. It shows D.O.'s passion is not just savage. He certainly returns to that feeling for his second trip up Jesse's ass, his skin glistening as he speeds up even faster to make Jesse cum a blast that goes all the way up his chest. D.O. beats off and the thrill of the scene continues even as they are kissing and the camera is fading.
Landon and Kyle go merrily on their way through the woods, but get separated when Landon stops to tie his shoe. A headache or sorts comes over Landon and when he opens his eyes, he's sees absolute perfection: a naked Jessy Ares approaching. Jessy is absolutely invaluable to brilliant porn, second only to the camera. He's so sexy here with a beard, tufts of chest hair and a hardon that is a reward. Jessy's thickness is tough for anyone, but Jessy knows what he's doing and pushes Landon down on it, even face-fucking him Landon to get his cock down that gullet. Let's see, I used "reward" to describe Jessy's dick, so I guess I'll have to go for "bonus" in describing his butt. Landon rims it and then fucks it. Jessy, who actually brings grace and elegance to the rough-and-tumble anything-goes rhythms of porn sex, bends over arches his back and pokes his ass out in Landon's direction. Landon starts off fucking Jessy strongly. Watch Jessy's face and body contortions, they will do the trick for you, I promise. With spit to spare, Jessy goes down on Landon, showing off what a talented mouth is supposed to do. He's given a lot less time than Landon, but he doesn't need it to prove his worth. Even better, he fucks Landon and teaches another lesson. Jessy is otherworldly, and I'm not talking about his character here, but his magnetism and sexual flair. They both cream on Landon's abs and then that flash no one yet comprehends ends their scene.
One of porn's favorite Irishmen, sexy buff Paddy O'Brian, is happily jerking himself off in his tent when tall, dark and handsome Marcus Ruhl appears. Who would say no to Paddy's boner? They don't need a line or dialogue or even a nodding look of agreements before Marcus hastily strips down to enthusiastically blow his baby-faced scene partner. Marcus is in a tough spot, giving a blowjob after Jesse Santana and Jessy Ares proved so remarkable, but Marcus is up to the challenge and his slavish devotion to Paddy's piece has no limits. Big boy Marcus sits on Paddy's cock to ride, with a galloping motion that has the whole tent rocking. Soon enough, Paddy decides he can't let Marcus steal the scene and he thrusts upwards into Marcus with a zesty tireless insistence that has Marcus' cheeks jiggling. Paddy's speed is amazing, especially considering the fact that he's on his back, where it's hardest to build topping momentum. The position may be easier when he does Marcus doggy, but Paddy's high-energy pounding actually gets bigger and bigger. For good measure, Paddy does Marcus flipped over, and the sounds of his pelvis smacking against Marcus is every bit as hot as his depth and power. He does not even pause his fiery fuck when Marcus cums. It only happens when he is ready to blast out the cream. Yup, white light again.
A still-befuddled Trenton Ducati doesn't seem surprised when hairy bearded Kyle King shows up naked on his doorstep, probably because everyone is getting used to the freak occurrences and since the result is thrilling sex, can you blame him? Trenton gently lowers Kyle to the desk and plunges a buttplug into his brand new friend. Never one to squander a ready cock, Trenton sucks Kyle's as he keeps the buttplug going. Within moments of unzipping his pants and teasing Kyle with his dick, Trenton has sent it inside Kyle, where he starts with a purposely slow-build motion that makes sure every muscle in his body is shown to be a part of his work. The fuck is going superbly when Charlie Harding, so delectable with his scruffy manly look, finally gets to have sex. He's waited through two movies to not only undress, but also show us what it does! He replaces Trenton in Kyle's ass, stripping down with his dick already inside Kyle. Kyle turns himself onto all-fours so that Charlie can hammer him in a new position and Trenton can get a blowjob from the ardent bottom. Charlie is terrific, Kyle is at his best (especially deep-throating Trenton) and then Trenton offers his ass up to Charlie. His tattooed coworker is surely not going to refuse, plowing Trenton so hard the bottom's eyes are wide with excitement. Kyle keeps busy too, sucking Trenton or offering his cock up for a specialty suck from the new bottom. Trenton cums first, then Kyle roars out a hard-won shot and Charlie laughs gleefully as he pumps out a load that doubles the other two combined.
And there you have ... wait, no, not yet. How about the plot? What's been going on? The three naked men go outside where they stand under a blaring light in the sky, which itself soon disappears. That's a masterstroke, because "The Woods" is so intricate and detailed that we would fully expect resolution, so not getting it left me wanting more (and no doubt many of you too). This is a sterling cast of performers at the apogee of their collective powers, so overwhelmingly awesome, and not just sexually. There is fine acting and surprises galore. As genius as it is, "The Woods" may last with full potency as long as all those California redwoods that are now full of cum and lube.
DVD features: Chapters; widescreen; trailers ("The Woods: Part 1," "Cowboys," "Pounded Down," "Fucked Hard," "Focus/Refocus," "Explosive," "Cockwork," "Brutal," "Alley Cats," "The Drifter" and "Unloaded"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Brent Blue ( http://mannet.com )
*** Highly, Highly Recommended ***