Considering the track record of executive producer Yates and the candy reference in the title, I have to admit, I was expecting something more sustaining. When I head to the candy store because I want to find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a gooey, sticky, pop, it's disappointing to only find cotton candy in stock - vanilla cotton candy at that!
The movie uses the "bullet" technique, long scenes, each with their own title. In this case, the four stories all tied to Hard Candy. With all of those delectable confections to choose from, like sour balls, lollipops, kisses and licorice, I wonder why director Dan Cross didn't try to incorporate them into the scene instead of the brief tease at the beginning. (Try giving a blow job sometime with one of those curiously strong mints in your mouth or, better yet, a rim job. You can thank me later.)
Most of the guys are post-pubescent types. You know, not scrawny or pale but not fully grown men yet either. There are some highlights. In "Sour Balls," Sandy Sloane shoots a 10-foot load, while Tom Adams plows his hole. "Lollipops" Leo Lyons and Corey Summer both have hairy "booty pops" ripe for licking. By far the best boner in the bunch belongs to, appropriately enough, Anthony Cox, in "Licorice." Cox has a true-norther that stays erect the entire scene, including a nice ride by Dirk Sussesel.
With a cute cast and a clever theme, this movie had the potential to sweeten up a hot summer night. But instead, it left me with a sugar headache.
- Harry Bayer