The "Lords of the Ring" is not, as the title might suggest, a take-off on the wildly successful fantasy movie series based on J.R.R. Tolkien's novels ("The Lord of the Rings"). No hobbits, elves or dead marshes on display, thank you very much. What's on display is no less fantastical, though -- muscle, and lots of it. More than any other Blue Blake production to date, I believe, including his muscle-loaded "Crash of the Titans" and "Straight Bodybuilders Do." All the men here are buffed, several competition-level. And this cockeyed story is full of over-the-top hooey about boxers and humpy guys who sodomize other boxers, not silly golden rings and the Middle-earth.
Our protagonist, Tom Katt, is as big as a house and ripped to perfection here. He is an ex-boxer, who, as the flick opens, is being interviewed by a reporter, Blue Blake, about why he left boxing. The reason? Well, it involved a boxing scandal where Tom was implicated, by association, when two championship contenders, Kelly Madison and Glenn Matthews, were sodomized by two thugs, Rico Dulce and Damian Steele. (And because you can't rape the willing, it all plays out in a very unobjectionable manner.)
In flashback, Kelly Madison, a stout-cocked fair-skinned cutie with just a wisp of blond hair, is working out in a boxing ring at the Jab City boxing studio in West Hollywood. Out of nowhere, Rico Dulce appears in full boxing headgear (very sexy) and tighty-whities (even sexier). To paraphrase Jessica Rabbit: "He's not a bad guy -- he's just drawn that way." I mean, he has such a sensational body -- huge thighs, bubble-butt, massive pecs and a tiny waist. At any rate, he roughs Kelly up a bit and then feeds him some dick. Kelly diligently deep-throats the cock before chowing down on Rico's asscrack. He really licks and gnaws at the very small hole with gusto. Rico then fucks Kelly doggy and missionary right there in the boxing ring. Rico cums on Kelly's face, and then Kelly cums on the mat.
Next, Tom and Jim Slade make love. They trade slurpy blows and Tom missonary-fucks Jim on a big bed. Both squirt out nice loads. After a post-fuck phone call, Jim is put off by Tom's odd reaction when he tells him that Kelly was sodomized by a stranger at the gym. The plot thickens. The next day at the gym, Glenn Matthews and Tom discuss what happened to Kelly and also comment on an up-and-coming bodybuilder in a muscle magazine, Nick Lord. Tom leaves and Glenn fantasizes about Nick.
Nick Lord, wearing only underwear and a terrycloth robe as the scene begins, quickly sheds the garments as he caresses his big muscles and cock. Nick is an enormous man with massive shoulders and arms. He poses and adores himself lovingly all the while stroking his rock-hard cock. He turns around to finger his hole a bit (like Rico, he has a great bubble-butt and tiny hole). He faces the camera again for the big money-shot, licking some of the load off of his sticky fingers as the scene fades out.
When we return to reality (and the gym), Glenn is alone when he is approached by burly tattooed dude Damian Steele. Glenn is a ripped muscle daddy with a pumped-up torso and zero-percent body fat. Damian is horse-hung, so before you can say "Round 2," Glenn is jawboning the big slab. He does an impressive job, and then he hops up on the edge of the boxing ring to see if Damian can match his skill. He does, Damian is a great cocksucker. And an even better rimmer. He parts Glenn's muscular cheeks to lick the inviting center. Glenn then dives into Damian's juicy crack for a few licks and some vigorous fingering. Damian then fucks the crap out of Glenn standing doggy and missionary. Glenn pops and Damian follows with a whopper of a load right on Glenn's pubes.
Jake Gianelli, a spectacular man with muscles all over, bums a ride from Tom. If only all hitchhikers looked like Jake! They head off to Tom's place immediately. They trade blows, and Tom spends a great deal of time deep-throating Jake's thickness. Jake, on his knees, returns the favor, gobbling Tom's also thick piece down without a whiff of trouble. Tom rims Jake and then Jake fucks Tom standing doggy and missionary. Tom cums being fucked and Jake finishes last.
Jim Slade, he of the cute-as-a-button face and musclebound body, is a boxer and Tom's lover. So it comes as a surprise to Tom as he watches Jim have sex with Rico at the gym (Tom hides behind some conveniently placed punching bags). Jim passionately kisses Rico and then passionately sucks his slender cock. He bends Rico over for a rimjob and shoves a few fingers in the tight hole while he's at it. Rico slams a harsh fuck into Jim, Rico cums on Jim's face, and then Jim cums on the mat.
Oh, and the bad guy gets a "Raging Bull"-style beating in the end, but I won't ruin the melodramatic climax by telling who the villain is or who lands the devastating left-hook that sends him down for the count. All in all, this is very sexy stuff, the boxing theme was a nice touch. Pound for pound, cock for cock, ass for ass, this one is loaded with spectacular men and sex.
"Lords of the Ring" delivers a one-two punch: great men, even better sex.
DVD features: Dolby digital sound; the full-length feature; interactive menus; a scene-by-scene chapter breakdown; a slide-show gallery, behind-the-scenes footage (outtakes and bloopers); trailers ("Straight Bodybuilders Do," "Hard as Rock," "Cowboy" and "Crash of the Titans"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Butch Harris