"Musclemen Moving Company, Inc.," from muscle zealot and director Blue Blake, is about a bunch of muscular house movers who also happen to horny as all get-out. All of the guys are movers, save for the equally hunky customer, Derek Steel (more on this hunk of burning love later). Blue Blake is one of my favorite directors because he knows what I like: muscle. Moreover, he packs all of his flicks with tons of it, and there is a range of muscle archetypes represented here: mature (Derek Steel), European (Robert van Damme, Jason Hawke), Latin (Carlos Morales, Ben Campezi), all-American (Jim Slade, Chad Conners) and strict top (Tony Valentino). The plot is simple: they carry boxes around, thus they must have sex, and it all comes to a head (pun intended) in the end when Jim Slade, the mover, sees the customer, Derek Steel, in his underwear. You know the rest.
Before we can get that, though, we must move boxes. Jim Slade and Robert van Damme (on the box cover), two big sides of beef, waltz into the house with some boxes. Jim says "those were heavy" and then proceeds to haul Robert's fat Czech cock out of his jeans. Jim sucks Robert's thick cock in a flurry of mouth and throat, rims his perfectly tanned bubble-butt, and then shoves a buttplug in and out of Robert's pucker, Jim really jams that toy in good. They segue to Robert blowing Jim's rock-hard cock on his knees, with lots of eye contact from the crouching Robert to the standing Jim. Robert then shoves his pretty little face in Jim's muscular butt for an excellent rimjob. Robert follows that up with a pounding fuck, doggy and cowboy. Jim really eggs the big stud on, grunting and groaning enthusiastically, before Jim pulls himself off and Robert gives Jim a messy facial, and Jim's greedy tongue laps some of Robert's cum up.
Movers Ben Campezi and Chad Conners, surrounded by boxes, trade blows. Ben is a cutie-pie Italiano, and Chad is a blond bombshell with muscles galore (this is the first time I've seen Chad in some time, and he looks great all grown up and buff as hell). Chad then rims Ben's smooth booty, before fucking him like a pro (on a quilted moving mat, doggy, and atop some moving crates, missionary). Chad pops a big load, followed by a smaller one from a-moaning and a-groaning Ben.
Robert van Damme and Jason Hawke trade blows (and Robert's cock looks even bigger than it did in his scene with Jim Slade -- it's a whopper), Robert then rims Jason's perky butt, then fucks him, doggy and missionary. Jason is the first to cum, after which Robert sucks Jason's just-spent pecker, and then Robert pops his load as he smiles at his prone and also smiling co-worker.
Latin muscle sensation Carlos Morales, with scruffy facial hair here, blows tall and lean Tony Valentino's gigantic cock (it's a beautiful rock-hard schlong, folks, with length AND girth), before getting fucked missionary and doggy on and around a shiny and expensive-looking dining room table. Carlos gets the cum fucked out of him, and takes a major facial from Tony's major cock, swallowing a great deal of the load as he grins like a Cheshire cat in the afterglow.
In the aforementioned climax, Jim bumps into the house owner coming down the staircase in his underwear. Never one to miss a chance to bag some trade, he goes for broke, and soon Jim, the mover, sucks Derek, the customer, right there on the staircase. Derek gives Jim an eager rim, and then Jim rims Derek. Derek then whomps a big fuck into Jim's muscular ass, up and down the sturdy staircase. Derek's long cock pops a giant load, splattering Jim's face, and then Jim tongue-cleans the sticky dong off before bringing himself off, too.
Yet another great work from the muscle master, Blue Blake. Simple as that.
DVD features: Chapters; cum-shots chapter; behind-the-scenes footage (outtakes and bloopers); gallery; trailers ("The MatriXXX: A Muscle Explosion" and "Brute: A Wrestling Fan's Dream"); and no regional coding (playable worldwide).
A DVD Review by Butch Harris
Silver-haired, superhung daddy Derek Steel picks up the phone and orders seven musclebound hunks to move boxes from one room to another. He also announces that he "will be in the shower" when they arrive. Uh-huh ... I'm sure the Musclemen Moving Company hears that one all the time. Director Blue Blake came up with the idea for this erotic little flick when he was actually moving into a new house. Now that's what I call economical filmmaking.
First up, Jim Slade and Robert Van Damme haul a mattress (convenient, eh?) and take a break by sucking face. This was Van Damme's first performance for Blue Blake, and he is gorgeously photographed on both sides of the DVD. His deliciously thick, oversized sausage would alarm anyone who didn't have the prodigious deep-throating skills of Jim Slade. Buffed out and lickably tan, Slade rims Van Damme briefly and then employs a small butt plug, to which Van Damme agreeably submits. Slade's muscular ass is plugged in two positions, then he climbs to his knees for a wet facial from Van Damme, who shoots several loads directly onto Slade's tongue. Slade then sucks Van Damme's cock dry.
Chad Conners and Ben Campezi move some boxes into a garage, then get right to work on each other. Both studs are compact and muscled, shaved clean and sport a cute straight guy vibe. That being said, Campezi is a hellaciously aggressive cocksucker, and Conners can take just about any sized cock into his plush butt. This time he's a topman, however. He and Campezi display the efficient chemistry of a couple of sexual professionals. The best moment would be when Campezi squats over Conners' face for a deep ass cleaning.
Van Damme turns up again to tumble with Jason Hawke, one of Blake's favorite bottoms and a consummate performer. Hawke clearly enjoys munching on Van Damme's cut, rippled torso, and the taller, older stud appreciates the attention. He responds in kind with deep kissing and one hilarious dialogue exchange. (Van Damme: "I've got sweaty balls..." Hawke: "My favorite kind.") Pretty soon, Hawke is on his knees. They trade blow jobs, then Van Damme piledrives his partner; Blake includes plenty of tight close-ups on Hawke's handsome face. Hawke cums all over his own chest, and Van Damme sucks his cock clean, then blows his own load.
Superbottom Carlos Morales pairs up with Aussie hunk Tony Valentino in scene four. Morales is another aggressive dick muncher and a powerful bottom with a body that won't quit. But he is best paired with a top who enjoys mansex as much as he does. Valentino is one of the few models to cross between straight and gay porn, and although he is likely bisexual, Valentino's preference seems to be for pussy. He's a gorgeous drink of water, though, with a shiny bald pate and blindingly white teeth. Morales deep-throats and slathers Valentino's long, curving cock with real skill. Their humping is good enough, but there is an inescapable roteness to it. As in the other scenes in this film, Valentino blasts semen all over his partner's face, which Morales greedily licks up.
Derek Steel finally makes his appearance in the fifth and final scene, after what must have been the longest shower in porn history. He's in his underwear and boldly propositions Jim Slade. That's all good ol' Slade needs; soon the two men are making out on the stairs. Slade drops to his knees to display Steel's jaw-stretching penis. Even Slade briefly chokes on it as he sucks it right down to the root. The aggressive Steel gets off on Slade's ministrations and quickly stuffs all of that meat between Slade's tanned globes, roughly delivering a series of short, sharp pokes that make Slade yelp with pleasure-pain. This is one pig-daddy who knows what he wants from a power bottom like Slade. Again, Slade eats even more cum when Steel blows his nut.
This lighthearted romp plays to Blue Blake's strengths as a director. It's not groundbreaking, but it is among the best of his recent output, lightly amusing and of special interest to muscle fans. Copious cum eating may ruffle a few feathers, but it's undeniably erotic. Musclebottom Jim Slade quietly steals the show once again, expertly wrangling both Robert Van Damme and the aggressive, alarmingly hung Derek Steel.
- J.C. Adams